THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 255

“Our dreams and hopes,” she continues, “cannot ever be held in contempt again.  Nightmares of all kinds must be eradicated.  You are a dream.  We are THE dream.  We are the living proof of a dream come true.  And for those of you who have not experienced the type of nightmare I lived through, may my experience be a lesson to you all: be aware at all time that nightmares of the worst kind can turn into daily realities that stay on forever, leading to a life where there are no leaders such as I, resulting in lack of food and bonus points.”

“Bonus points?” Labaguette whispers in Captain Traumatic’s ears.

“Rum”, the Captain retorts, “and rough seas”.

“Ah,” Labaguette answers.

“Let us rejoice,” she asserts, “into the public sacrifice of Chloroph the weak, a liar, a treacherous peasant and floral sorcerer born out of the reality of nightmares.  There is no such thing as a healthy seed or hook.  Let us rid of the poison that infiltrates our dreams.  Let us rid of Chloroph, the Captain, the King and of their damned fucking bird.”

“Mind your language!” Labaguette utters.

Captain Traumatic snatches the parrot and shoves him into his pocket.

Chloroph has had many lives and he knows this one isn’t about to end: she’s tried exterminating him before.  He’ll escape again.  Empowered by his unexpected successes escaping ominous and untimely deaths through various forms of execution, Chloroph decides it is time to earnestly plan ahead, quickly and efficiently.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 254

If he could, the Captain would take his time to kick, punch and throw Chloroph out of the ship.  But now isn’t the right time.  Surely, the chance will come.  There’s hope, there’s always hope, except that—.

One blow to the Captain’s head stops his thoughts in their track and he falls on the ship’s deck after one of Spinostress’ guards decides it were best to shut him down, thoughts and all, along with his companions, for the duration of the trip back to the dark planet.  Besides, they shouldn’t know their way around these skies.  Labaguette, hidden, remains watchful and ingests all that is happening around him.  It isn’t long before he begins fluttering about, squawking and screeching with every intention to wake up his slumbering lot, under the watchful eyes of the monkeys, until they recover and pretend to remain unconscious.

Their destination reached and before they step out of the Insatiable Princess onto solid grounds, Spinostress addresses her peers from above, the Insatiable Princess’ height providing an effective podium:

“—There’s no time to waste”, she says, “much has changed since we left and we must unite to restore the undisputed dominant reputation and brilliance this planet once enjoyed: your planet, our planet, MY planet as it once was and will be again.  Dangerous traitors, spies and enemy of all kinds such as this creature (she points at Chloroph), must be exterminated and each and every particles of their remains, split and disintegrated into bare nothingness.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 253

It only takes one Jimmy to look at the Captain and his companions, then stare into the Captain’s eyes, raise a thumb and:

“Hey…” the Captain utters when he realises far too late there is nothing he can say as Jimmy turns his back on him, takes his seat back into the bus, starts the engine only to disappear into the darkness he came from, summoning shadows that come to envelop the entire fleet of buses for eternity.

“Surely,” the Captain continues, “surely we will finish that conversation.”

“They’re gone,” Labaguette utters, mirroring his master’s thought, that of an unresolved and unacceptable truth.

“Don’t you wish—“

“—ALL ABOARD!” Spinostress yells, taking them all by surprise as she resumes her original shape and personality, three young monkeys tightly bound to her neck by heavy unbreakable white chains.  She calls for a rally and her army of ugly spider like creatures, mutant scarab-crabs and stone-amoeba of all kinds take the Insatiable Princess over, leading her crew once more into the claws of a planet they wish they’d never see again.

Chloroph winks at the Captain.

“What?” the Captain asks, fed up with the traitor whose pretentious stance for all things natural and organic turned into the creation of an utterly abnormal monster of sorts and, for the Captain, the conception of an unending battle against the use of unknown molecules that could lead to the disintegration of universes as he understands them.

“Trust me, I know the way of the plants,” Chloroph insists, reading the Captain’s thoughts.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 252

So it goes that the humongous fleet of yellow buses escorts the Insatiable Princess back to Spinostress’ obscure and gloomy planet.  There comes a time of subdued good byes, veiled not only by the yellow buses world of shadows but by fear and weariness, especially for Captain Traumatic.  Back to square one, he thinks; is all that has been happening the product of his imagination?  He knows that deep, deep down within the confinement of the tiniest cell of his body, of what may be his soul, that he isn’t dreaming and that, if rum flowed in abundance, he’d be able to get by.  Then, and only then, he could stop dreaming of a peaceful life trading rum, of pillaging other ships and selling misappropriated properties.  He remembers and longs for past days of independence.  If only he’d been given the opportunity to grow into his job and give it a good go.  If only, he’d been given the chance to morph into a fearsome, relentless and powerful pirate of a kind with a real name attached to it.  Only trouble now, is that aside the earlier unexpected fall past the horizon line, he owns two brains and this fact alone is more burdensome he’s ever thought it’d be.  What with his fast scanning ability, the new found memories and philosophies attached to them, he’d—“

“—ALL ABOARD!” Jimmy yells, and many a Jimmy’s voice to repeat “ALL ABOARD! ALL ABOARD! ALL ABOARD!” as it echoes into infinity, jolting the Captain out of his musing.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 251

“My planet is this way,” Spinostress says, pointing in one direction, “this is where we’re headed.  Any complaints?”

Getting back there takes them about three earth days.  The trip is more or less uneventful: the Captain is back on the bottle, King Krackskull longs for meaning and power, incessantly pacing the bridge and Labaguette enjoys a well-deserved rest (or so he believes), sleeping in a knotty bed unintentionally formed by the ropes inside the ship.  Chloroph ponders and wonders what is to become of him. How will he ever be able to get back into the creative spirit and build more hooks?  He could escape, grab a seed from his pocket and disappear into another hook.  Trouble is, he needs others’ adulation and aside the pride, it would be good for those others to learn from his inventiveness and tap into his genius, even if it sometimes has to turn into nightmares and deadly dead ends.  After all, there always comes a time when everyone learns from their mistakes and the past is the past.  Also, there’s always a string of suited applicants for a hero’s job to save the day when needed, no matter the ending.

As to Spinostress and her guards, they do not revert to their old evil forms, except for a short and spontaneous fleeting seconds at a time and the monkeys fail to reappear consistently.

To be continued…

PART 251

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 250

“I get it,” the Captain answers, “my way’s where I should be headed, like it or not, choice or no choice, and you’d be better off not knowing about it, even though you do and if you didn’t, you’d be able to direct me or give me a choice, but you can’t, because you know where I’m headed and you hate it all the way.  That’s why you live in hiding amongst shadows, you and your sorts and your yellow buses.

“Why such contempt?”

“The truth is that knowing everyone’s ways makes you cringe and be weary and frightened of anything that comes your way.  It makes you wonder why you’re here, why what you do is, at the best of times, futile and utterly irrelevant and, in the scheme of all yellow buses and shadows considered, what is the meaning of your all-knowing prescient existence.”

“This is unfair.  You’re a bitter, envious fool who’s lost the way to the ocean through stupid, obsolete beliefs and there’s worse… you can’t remember your name, remember?”

“Bullshit.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, pirate!”

“Wait a minute,” Labaguette interferes, a diplomat of some kind, “I love yellow buses and if I had arms and hands I’d want to drive them and live among shadows.  I’d no doubt be able to direct you and tell you where you’re headed, Captain.  Wouldn’t that be grand?”

The Captain lunges forward to catch his damn bird of doom but the Insatiable Princess has got ideas all of her own as she begins her ascent onto an invisible and inescapable yellow, pulled by yellow buses.

“ALAAAAARM!” Labaguette yells, “ALAAAAARM!”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 249

“—Let us get out of here before unidentified tempests lift and catch us unaware,” Labaguette says.

“What kind of language is this?  Damn fucking bird!  You’re your very own worst nightmare.  What are you so afraid of?” The Captain retorts.

“Wisdom will make me lose my feathers, grow bones and turn into one of you beings; I’d better be off singing.”

“Shut up!”

Here is Labaguette leading the way now as he, Captain Traumatic, King Krackskull, Chloroph, Spinostress, or what’s left of her as well as her old guards, all gather up onto the Insatiable Princess, which is tied to one of the yellow bus.  The Insatiable Princess is eager to go.  The Captain can feel it through the almost barely perceptible tremor, the quivering surface of the oaks she’s made of.

“We’ve lost our way to the ocean,” the Captain tells Jimmy, “would you be able to—“

“—Look, I know you’ve lost your way,” Jimmy retorts, “but this isn’t just about the ocean is it?”

“Well, I was merely wondering if—“

“—Oh I’ve heard all about ways before.  There’s this way and that way.  There’s the way you came from, the in-the-now way, and there’s the way you’re intending to take as well as the way you’re ultimately going to take.  Which will it be, Captain? Which way’s your way?  Because you know, really, there’s no two ways about it, bus or no bus.  Do you know what I’m talking about?”

To be continued…