THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 506

“Should be?  This uncertainty at your level is beyond belief.”

“Mathematical probabilities and time are what I specialise in.”

“How could you know we’d get at that particular time of the planet’s scientific progress?”

“I added an inbuilt memory of the future inside the capsule, a circuit that projects itself in the history of future and stores itself.  It can be viewed as an electronic future history book on any computer.”

“But—”

“—Shut up!” Captain Starcrusher says, “we shall get to this bottom of it when the time is right, back home and in a space agency court”, as he follows the others eager to discover this new world and to mingle: Birdseye, Labaguette, Captain Traumatic have left the Insatiable Princess and are finally stepping onto solid grounds.  They join an eclectic crowd comprising creatures of all kinds and, it seems, they fit because most creatures they cross path with barely lift an eyelash: creatures of all shapes, sizes and colours who are concentrating on their portable electronic mini-hour glass that combines the limited technology of an era when time gazing was an art form, and each and every grain of sand that could be seen falling felt as if eternity was real, with the innovative and available expedient time travel of year 4,398.

But Labaguette and Birdseye, in a way, stand out: all of the flying objects and vehicles are manmade.  There are no birds.

They enter a bar.  There too, you would think that when three cosmonauts, a king-fool, a tall man-bird, a parrot and a pirate from the past step in, they would inevitably attract attention but, except a bar tender with a single suspicious eye and mind, more concerned about the contents of his till, not a single creature raises an eyebrow.

To be continued…

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THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 505

“You’ve altered the rules and interfered with the possibilities offered by one capsule, tampering with time,” Captain Starcrusher says, “It is unforgivable.  We do not know what this future holds but we know of yours: it shall be as it is said.”

“Why not admit you did it?” Captain Clusterflame insists, looking at Captain Sunblast.

“I locked it.  I locked the capsule’s timing so it could not be interfered with.  But only after I found it in the wrong box,” Captain Sunblast maintains, “now, out with the truth, you,” he says, holding Captain Clusterflame’s tighter.

“I adjusted the capsule’s electronic handles to delay it by one earth second for every two intergalactic seconds that elapsed,” Captain Clusterflame admits, “for safety reasons.”

“What does that mean?”

“If my calculations are right, we should—”

“—There’s a chance you could be right?”

“This mist is thick beyond belief,” Captain Traumatic says, “where is it taking us?”

Then there is a thump and a clang.  The type of thump you hear when your ship and your shuttle dock in unison.

“Look, this isn’t bad as it seems,” Captain Clusterflame insists.  “We’re back on Earth, should be.”

In front of them, it looks like Earth, only busier they’ve known it to be: buildings of all sizes spread as far as they can see and behind them, the sea is covered by a thick blanket of impenetrable mist that lingers.  Each building has an unbuilt clock at its top and the sounds of ticking echoes all around them.  Only a few display the same time.

“What year is this?” Captain Starcrusher asks.

“The year time travel was made official and available to all, before the Great Time War.  Should be year 4,398.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 504

And before his next thought reaches the subsequent neuron in his brain, Birdseye catches the future capsule in his polished, flawless clawed feet as he flies up, up and up above the Insatiable Princess, forming loops, enjoying weightlessness effortlessly.

Labaguette, accompanies him.  “You can fly!?  How did—”

But Labaguette’s words are interrupted abruptly as one well-adjusted sling-shot hits Birdseye’s right foot at the speed of light: his claw releases the capsule in an instant which, under the mesmerised and dismayed eyes of all hits the Insatiable Princess’s deck, cracks open and releases its substance: a bright yellowish green vapour with a tinge of purple, a slimy ingredient that spreads, stretches and surrounds all within close proximity: ship, crew, shuttle and birds of a kind, in their flight.

“It all comes down to life and death,” Birdseye explains as Labaguette perches on his Captain’s shoulder croaking:

“We weren’t about to die.”

“We’re about to live,” Birdseye insists.

Meanwhile, as the contents of the capsule does what it does best and takes all of them into a new era, Captain Sunblast and Captain Starcrusher spring intrepidly upon Captain Clusterflame, seizing him.  Then, as Captain Clusterflame kneels with his hands tied behind his back, Captain Sunblast decrees:

“At the next port of entry, be it planet, asteroid or moon, you will be released of your duties and condemned to exile for as long as your life shall last.”

“I did not tamper with the capsule,” Captain Clusterflame exclaims, “I merely ended a situation.  Think about it: I am not smart enough to tamper with time.  Only you both are able to do so.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 503

“It’s in the science lab!” Captain Clusterflame yells, his face crimson.

When Captain Starcrusher reappears, he carries the capsule in a small, transparent, indestructible box.

“You could have told me where it was instead of letting me look for it.  Why—”

“—That’s where it was supposed to be.  You forgot.”

“I never forget.”

“All too convenient.  I never forget.” Captain Sunblast adds.

“Why did you put it there?” Captain Starcrusher insists, “you know the least about the capsules.”

“I thought it safer.”

“He lies!” Labaguette yells, grinning.

“He’s lying,” Captain Traumatic acknowledges.

“That’s a lie,” the King-Fool emphasises.

“Lies and more lies,” Birdseye continues.

“In space, there is no such thing as biased democratic consultations or witch-hunts!” Captain Sunblast blasts.

“No rules,” Captain Traumatic reiterates, “Gimme that damned bloody future capsule and I’ll show you how we can still have choices.”

“Stay out of this!” Captain Sunblast orders, “we’ve seen what you and your parrot are capable of.”

“The capsule is useless.  It’s been tampered with.”

“He tampered with it,” Labaguette says, pointing his wing at Captain Sunblast.

“He did!” The King-Fool says.

“The future belongs to me,” Birdseye says, looking intently below him, his goggles lighting up, their beams focussing on the capsule.

“You can’t possibly…” Captain Traumatic says, “you can’t fly!”

“Only I can fly,” Labaguette remarks.  “STOOOOOOP!” he yells at his comrade about to take a potentially deadly leap of faith.

“I can do what I want.  I can create my own future,” Birdseye insists.  Then, he raises his neck to the starless sky, deploys his wings and plunges towards the capsule, his future and Captain Starcrusher, mesmerised at the sight of this man-creature’s majestic and reckless, kamikaze style approach.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 502

“Enough!” Captain Starcrusher thunders, “I’ll get the original and we will get out of this impermanent state of being.  No one else can touch it.  We will be out of here in no time.”

“Remain seated!” Captain Sunblast orders.  No one moves!”

“A lost future…” The King-Fool muses, considering his options, “what if—”

“—Non-sense, there’s always a way.”

“Yeah,” Labaguette adds, a mischievous bird, a princely parrot of darkness and thief of a kind all contained within one feather weight body, “with no future, there’d be no consequences.  I wouldn’t need a conscience.”

“What do you know about conscience?” Captain Clusterflame asks, “You’re all feather and no substance.”

“Eternity won’t be enough,” Birdseye remarks as Labaguette’s eyes look deep into the bird-man’s goggles and at once understands the more profound and abysmal implications of his words.

“What’s that you’re saying bird?” Captain Clusterflame asks while Labaguette whispers in his master’s ear.

“We live in times of paradoxes,” Captain Traumatic adds, “where time particles can interact with each other across several time dimensions, at different speeds and often, they meet in unexpected ways to create fated instants.”

“Shall I remind you you’re a Rum trader, a pirate, a man of the sea, not a—”

“—My travels have taken my knowledge to high spheres, unimaginable by you.”

“Explain fated instants in view of paradoxes.”

“A concert of dinosaurs playing violin for Beethoven; Jeff Goldblum crowned first King of Spain; planet Earth’s ability to clone itself—”

“—S’ppose you made this up.”

“S’ppose t’was hypothetical.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT!” they all hear coming from the shuttle, with Captain Starcrusher’s voice amplifying out of a perceptible fear, the fear of an unfathomable, uncertain future, one where future dissolves into nothing as you step into it.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 501

“Chloroph is a gardener we met travelling through the big out there.  He plants seeds, a wide range of seeds.  Wild seeds, mad seeds, dangerous seeds, seeds he collected, others that he engineered.”

“The seeds of time were discovered growing by the side of a well-known scientific establishment that disappeared in what is believed to be a time-warp.” Captain Clusterflame continues, “It also happened in the land where clocks where invented.  This is no coincidence.”

“We’re scientists, not historians,” Captain Sunblast adds.  Who knows?  We do not make the law, we follow the rules.”

“There are no rules.” Labaguette says.

“No rules,” Captain Traumatic says, throwing the capsule to Labaguette, an unusual and sudden spark in his eye, one that reminds Labaguette of his own youth, and how crumpling time up was fun because then tomorrow was just that: tomorrow.  And so, with that instant engraved into his needle size brain and that twinkle in the eye fully understood, Labaguette throws the future capsule into the air to better catch it and kick it with his foot, well away from the shuttle and the Insatiable Princess’ deck.  Down, down, down, all the way into oblivion.

“What have you done, you doom-shitting bird?” Captain Clusterflame bellows.  “What have you done?”

“You have the original,” Labaguette says.

“It doesn’t work that way.  If the copy exists, it must be used first.”

“I see a path forward,” Birdseye says.

“See?” Labaguette adds.

“No rules,” Captain Traumatic insists.

“Not using the copy first will alter the original’s future.”

“Not unless you tampered with the copy.”

“It’s impossible.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 500

“An acquaintance?” Captain Clusterflame asks.

Now Labaguette is sitting on the Captain’s shoulder with the future’s capsule held in his claws.  He carelessly drops it onto the Captain’s lap.

“Fancy a game?” the Captain asks before throwing it back high into the air for Labaguette to fetch.

“Careful!! Captain, careful.  You can never anticipate what may come of the future if you play with it in this way.  Have you lost your mind?”

“We’re in suspended time mode.  What could become of the future if nothing changes?”

“It is said that suspended time is intense and acute, like alphabet letters forming this sentence compressed into one letter.  The air in our lungs could be used and re-used without us noticing, without danger, but damaging a time capsule in this mode breaks all the rules.”

“Why is there a Law of Time?” the Captain insists, as his game of catch intensifies.

“All right, all right, all right.  The Law of Time was built on the premise that Time is needed everywhere to extend life and evade Death and Decay.  Since the universe is extending, time is extending.  But when the universe stops growing and starts to shrink, so will time.  In manipulating time and saving it, we can reversed this process and maintain the universe’s expansion.  By revisiting the past, we can re-create a state of expansion to infinity and bring all future progress to the past to improve it in the present, a time loop of sorts.  This requires strong rules, regulations and laws all devised and engineered by specialists in their field: time lawyers and time engineers.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Who is Chloroph?”

To be continued…