THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 450

“You?  A pirate versed in the art of diplomacy.  Some trump card!  Besides, the Syck Monkey’s children don’t speak.  They hear, they see, they smell, they scream and they sense.”

“He’s is their father and mother.  He can communicate.  So can I.”

“Funny,” the King-of-All-Things, says, “the Syck Monkey and I have an understanding too.”

“Do you know where he is?”

But the Captain’s stomach inflates and his jacket’s buttons pop one by one before landing and chiming onto the ship’s wooden plank.  Then, his feet lift off and he begins to float leisurely, a feather in the making, except he is now very round and he is no bird.  All look in surprise, unable to utter a single sound.  Then, the Captain grabs a mast in time before becoming lost in space.  He settles on a small post above the deck, attaching himself with a rope.

“Aaahh, weightlessness!” he exclaims, “I can take this.  I will never fall again.  Will Birdseye be able to fly?”

“Maybe, who knows?” the King-of-all-Things answers.

“Well,…”

“Well what?”

“What of the Monkeys?”

“The Monkeys require patience.”

“You can’t do anything about them and you don’t believe they’ll ever be able to able to wake up,” King U affirms.

“I didn’t say such thing.”

“I read your mind.”

“You’re presuming.”

“You realise who they are, don’t you?”

“And how useful they are to have aboard the Insatiable Princess?” the Captain continues.

“I’m the King-of-all-Things, sooner or later it’ll all work out.  I repeat: their father and I are friends.”

“Call him!” King U commands.

“It doesn’t work like that.”

“This is the end of the line, isn’t it?” the Captain asks.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 449

“You fool!  Labaguette woke up by himself because the world he swallowed has been assimilated.”

“Ingested.”

“Assimilated.  His stomach is larger.  It will balloon when he stresses out and help him fly faster and just like for Labaguette, the others will wake up in their own time.”

“We’ve wasted enough time.”

“Where are you rushing off too?  Remind me.”

“We’ve travelled off course and in a direction we would have avoided, had we known the destination.”

“You were at the mercy of the winds and tides, were you not?”

“The Captain is always in charge of his ship.”

“It seems to me the Insatiable Princess may have been misled into forging her own path.”

“What would you know about it?”

“Well, for a start she’s a she and—”

“—She?” the Captain mumbles, “of course she’s a she,” he says louder and rising.  “Whims, winds and tides have nothing to do with it.  I’ve always known where we were going.  She and I have a long standing understanding.”

“Captain!” King-U exclaims.

“Si.  Esta muy bien, gracias,” the Captain answers.

Silence.

“CAAAPITAAIIINE !” Labaguette yells, fully awake, from his cell cloud.

“Was ist los?” the Captain continues.

“Je suis enfermé!” Labaguette screams.

“Radiowave transmissions,” The King-of-all-Things says, “your Captain has acquired the ability to speak in tongues.”

“He doesn’t know it.”

“확실히 내가 할”

“He’s confused.”

“Testing, testing, testing,” the Captain says, beaming, “and it works really well, doesn’t it?”

“Of what use is it Captain, we all speak the same—”

“—I might be able to converse with the Syck Monkey,” the Captain says.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 448

“Once one world is disintegrated, then only the process of disintegration of another can begin.  It’s called a chain reaction.”

“Any side effects?”

“Changes.”

“What changes?”

“Told you.  It’s unpredictable.”

“Minimise the danger, will you?”

“Remember: you may be a foolish King but this King here standing before you will not be fooled.”

Then, the King-of-all-things lifts his fist into the small cloud hovering above his head before the cloud opens up and lightning bolt strikes it back.  The fist opens wide and releases, in turn, a blinding lights out of the tips of each finger onto each slumped body and creature atop the Insatiable Princess’ wooden planks.

“Looks good,” King U says, “looks good.  Very good.  Suspiciously good.”

“You were warned.”

First to arise from its slumber is Labaguette.

“That was predictable.”

“What was?” Labaguette inquires, dusting his feathers.

“This bird is of insignificance.  The others matter more.”

“Quoi?  Quoi?  Quoi?  Moi?  Insignifiant?”

“Besides, he talks too much and no matter what he says, there’s no meaning, no depth.”

“SILENCE!” the King of all things yells, “SILENCE!”

“In the depths of the universe,” Labaguette insists, “no one can hear you scream.”

“What did I tell you?” King U reiterates, shaking his head from side to side.

“This is not time to sleep,” Labaguette continues, “look at them all lazy, undignified bastards.”

“They are your Captain, your Bird-Commander and three monkeys-peers.”

“Bird-Commander?  Size doesn’t matter, looks do.”

“Put him back to sleep!” King-U urges the King-of-all-things.

In no time, lightning strikes Labaguette, disempowers the damn bird and entraps him in the cloud above the King of all things.

“Now wake the Captain, Birdseye and the monkeys, in that order.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 447

“The Syck Monkey?  You know about it? I have done as you asked, you owe me.”

“I shall wake them, one by one, but first you must promise that—”

“—I’ve danced for you, isn’t that enough?”

“You did well, excellently well.”

“Wake them or—”

“—or?”

Now King’s U frustrations and despair bring him to the edge of a ship, to the edge of a platform and to the brink of a time.

“What are you doing?  Where are you going?”

“I am going where my steps take, straight ahead.  There may not be a tomorrow but I don’t mind.”

“All right, all right, all right. I shall wake them, if it’s not too late.”

“Can you reverse it or can you not?”

“Ingesting one world is one thing.  Ingesting several of them is another.”

“Well what then?”

“It is a delicate operation.  One world remains smooth and round and, usually, isn’t threatened by one’s digestive juices and acidic environment.”

“But?”

“But several worlds often interlock, clash and burst within.”

“Can my friends explode?  Surely, the bigger worlds will ingest the smaller ones until only one remains?”

“Small and invisible worlds are strong self-sufficient, well-defended and always ready to attack.  They are inherently extremely dangerous.  They can fight from the inside out after ingestion by a bigger world, and turn into a virus, a pest, a single mini-cell i that is all but a determined loose cannon ball whose effects no one can quite anticipate nor predict.”

“Enough talking.  What are you waiting for?”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 446

“They shall remain corpses until such time as you’ve danced some more.”

“Is your word binding?”

“I am a King, I am bound by my word.  Creatures will remain corpses unless you dance.”

“But—”

“—Well then, you shall never know.”

There’s a fool, once a jolly King of a Kind, lonely, lonesome, jiggling, juggling, dancing for no reason at all except that he is a fool and a fool dances for Kings who demand it.  One to the left, one to the right as the bell jingles, though this is no Mambo dance.  Once more, his body contorts to demonstrate skills he doesn’t know has, like there is no tomorrow because tomorrow may not be had but most of all, because he has no choice.

“Faster!” the Out-of-Nowhere-King commands as the frantic and frenetic pace increases until what looks like an eternity elapses and King U, now a mechanic Doll-King of a kind settles onto the grounds, legs crossed, closing his eyes and all that remains from the dance is his hand on his wand, knocking the grounds at rhythmic intervals.

“You’ve trespassed the boundaries of all universes known to those who venture on the outer realm, on the outside of all things.  Explorers are good, explorers are wild, explorers are crazy BUT, explorers are deadly.  Not even the Syck Monkey dares venture on the outer edges of the outer realms of outer universes and beyond’s beyond time.  He who shall trespass, shall trespass good and forever and ever and ever.  I have grown tired of this mascarade.  I find no more interest in watching you.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 445

“Shut up and dance some more!”

“Who are you to speak of good, evil and trespassing?”

“I am the King of all things.  This is my Kingdom. They belong to me.  You belong to me.  Worlds belong to me.  Universes belong to me.  You’ve released deadly sins into the air.”

“Beg your pardon you… King who?”

“King-of-here and King-of-now.”

“I too was a King.  I had a real name, I—”

“—You’ve no crown, You dance and you behave like a mad creature.  I must say, it is entertaining.  No king acts like you do.”

“My words are kingly.”

“You have said nothing of substance and you dance like any fool would.”

“My crown is large and wise.  It is precious and shines of a thousand fires.”

“I see no crown crowning you.”

“It is self-contained.  It is within.  It shines all of its own, with all its might, can’t you see?”

“Sure.  Look, I don’t know where you come from.  I don’t know what you want and I don’t care, but sure as I am long lived and as I live long, you’re no king.”

“I am not your prisoner.”

“I need entertained for I am lonely.”

“I too was once lonely on my planet.  They,” King U says pointing at the unconscious crew lining the Insatiable Princess’ planks, “are entertaining and as I lost my world, I care not to find it again.”

“You’re odd.  Dance for me!”

“Look what your worlds have done.  Look at them.  Are they sleeping or are they dead?”

“Dance!”

“Fix them first, wake them up!”

“Deal.”

“They’re not dead?”

“Depends.”

“King or fuckwit, I beg you, tell me if these copses are creatures or dust.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 444

The King-Clown’s heart glows, a tempest of glory raging inside it.  The victory is his.  So too are these new territories: his wand radiates, emanating light.  Then, remaining undetected, a small turtle shaped clouds float leisurely not far above and expands sluggishly.

As the King dances, he begins to sweat profusely and his lips grimace before contorting and extending unnaturally onto each side of his face, an intended grin of sorts until finally, the turtle cloud opens.  At that point, it launches lightning bolts, one by one, two by two until it climaxes into groups of copious bolts.  Soon, one bolt strikes the King-Clown’s wand, splitting it in two, thus beheading the bells in one strike, thundering promptly, adding a previously unimaginable dimension to the empty skies.

“WHO COMES NEAR?” a deep and invisible voice bellows.

“WHO COMES HERE?” King U retorts a similar tone, perusing his surroundings for the voice’s source until, blaring in his face a ginormous King of another kind appears out of the turtle-cloud, generating storms, cyclones and tsunamis with one swipe of his hand on the surface of the thin oceanic platform, disrupting any peace and stability this universe’s boasted scarcely a few seconds ago.  Clapping his hands provokes the storms already in place even more.

“Can’t you see?  They’re all asleep,” King U says.

“You stand.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Penance.”

“I have done no harm.”

“This is MY Kingdom!”

“Why not greet us pacifically earlier and make your presence known?”

“You happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“It needn’t have come to this.”

To be continued…