THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 19

“You’re the most useless pirate I’ve ever met,” the King says.

“Your being naked increases our speed,” a desperate Captain retorts, “besides, I can’t accept that on my ship a King should wear nothing more than its bare precious parts for the entire universe to see, as I, pirate whose most precious grapple is always of good taste and princely state, have got a remnant of pride.”

“My nakedness only exposes the truth about the crown’s jewels: there’s no shame to be had.  Let me remind you that you’re nothing more than a blind pirate overcome by a tiny-itsy and ridiculous speck of dust and that you can’t figure out North, South, East or West, let alone what is precious, princely and priceless.”

“I’m a true pirate at heart and my having you as some valuable hostage on my ship would be a reason for pride if only you looked your part instead of a fat jelly blob that lacks personality, presence and power and that knows nothing about rum culture.  I may not be able to see you but I can very well feel you and imagine you.”

“FUCK ALL OF YOU Pirates and Kings!” Labaguette screams, “there’s no time for debate, we’re going too fast!”

Then the Captain clicks his fingers, just like the King would do.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the King asks.

Fur coat – mistaken or mesmerised by the Captain’s clicking, it is difficult to know – deploys its wide, humongous sleeves on each side, left and right, and the Insatiable Princess and its trailing planet begin to glide instead of falling.  It casts a gigantic shadow over them, now hiding even the most remote star light shining upon them.

To be continued…

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