THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 304

“This parrot doesn’t mean a word, can’t you see?  A first class liar, a great actor, the best there is, I should know.  Let me show you.  King Krackskull, hand me the wingless prat.  You must see for yourself.”

“What are you going to do to him?”

“To think this bird once had to call you ‘Your Majesty’ at every sentence and now… He and I have been together longer than we can remember.  If I’d wanted rid of him, I would have done it long ago.  Now, gimme my bird, will you?”

“NOOOOO!” Labaguette screams.

“’I beg you, your Majesty’ would not have done it this time around, Labaguette!” the King says, handing the parrot to his rightful master.

“You can’t do it, Captain,” the bird says, “you hold me so close to your heart you’re afraid of what you would do if I disappeared, you’d—“

“—Enough!” the Captain exclaims, holding Labaguette from some height, threatening to drop him.

“By the holly halo of the married virgin, captain, DON’T!”

“Confused and screaming are we?” the Captain snarls, ready to release the parrot to its uncertain fate.

“STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!” a voice yells from nowhere, “I URGE YOU TO STOP!”

“Who the—“

“—BIRD DROPPIN’ AIN’T ALLOWED HERE!” the voice roars, “besides, you’re travelling above the speed limit, you carry dangerous goods and you travel with your head where your feet should be.  Which shall I put on your ticket or is it all of the above?”

All scrutinise their surroundings.

“Who speaks?” the King asks.

“My guards rarely speak,” the old woman answers as the Captain stares severely at her, “not reverting to my old tricks either,” she insists.

“I SAID: STOOOOP!  IT’S AN ORDER.”

To be continued…

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