THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 366

“—Drew strings around you only to release you later in the name of freedom and independence, with his own spin on what constituted a womb, its usability and purpose, didn’t he?”

“Shut up, BoyBird!” she commands.

“Colonel, we’d agreed we’d be able to meet on the isolated planet I’d moved to in order to be closer to you and that I’d spin thread from webs waiting for you to easily drop by.  But the visits became scarce: you were too busy searching for the Golden liquid and the boxes ‘demanded’ you performed ‘exciting’ experiments on them.  Little did I know until eventually you needed time to ponder how to get organised to introduce me to my long dead in-laws!”

“It can’t be!  Princess Sparks?!  You’ve changed, you—”

“Still in my prime, Colonel, still in my prime.”

“You did rather well for yourself, you’re in charge.  Consider this: if it weren’t for me, you’d—”

“—Perhaps I did, perhaps I didn’t.  I self-empowered, meditated and minded every moment.  I followed the trends of the times.”

“Well done, you’re a queen now.”

“I’m everything and everyone ever attempted who got anywhere and came out on top.”

“When all you’d ever wished for was a sparkly crystal shoe and ten kids to fulfil your lifelong ambition: braiding hair all day long.”

“Instead I plotted, planned and conquered.  I got creative juices flowing through, but unlike you, my life long ambitions didn’t imply the fertilisation of podiums by means of batons.”

“I don’t annihilate, I create.”

“Huh!  You arrogant, despicable, lying cheater!”

“Mind your wording!”

“Oh sweetheart, this is about mini-dong-a-dance-me being just that, minute.”

“—S’cuse me,” the Captain interrupts, “Is there any chance we could—”

To be continued…

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