THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 473

“Here goes The—”

“—a decoy, Fool.  WHO COMES NEAR?” the King-of-All-Things asks.

“HEEE HAAA!” the Captain yells as Labaguette swoops past the King-of-all-Things, screaming: “A BABORD!  A BABORD!”  The Insatiable Princess had landed in the shadow, behind the King-of-all-Things kingdom and is now floating on the platform with reluctance, willing to take flight at the wink from her Commander.

“Utter madness!” the King-of-all-Things mutters, “they’ve lost it.  I must rid—”

“—They’re back!” the Fool exclaims, “can’t you see?  They’re back.  They will free me.”

“Not so fast, Fool, not so fast.”

Atop a mast of the Insatiable Princess, a majestic man bird stands proudly, his elegant tail spreading its glistening feather, his goggles shining bright.  He holds an egg.  He holds a flag.

“Give me the flag and show some respect, Bird-Man!”

“The Syck Monkey’s children are just that: children.  They’re ready to throw some more.”

“You want the Fool back?  Give me the Flag.”

“It’s the Egg or the flag?”

“You give me the Flag and I give you the Egg.  Do you understand?”

This is when Birdseye switches his goggles on full blare and an Egg of a thousand lights brighten this universe’s entire surroundings.

“I own The One.  It is contained in a restricted area.  Can’t be touched nor retrieved.  It’s protected by destructive and demonised death beams.  I won’t be tricked.”

“This is The One.  T’wasn’t that hard for them Monkeys to grab it before we landed and the monkeys you’re looking at are not cadavers.  They look rather bright and sparkly, don’t you think?”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 472

“I hold the Egg of Creation.  The one before ‘before’, the one laid by the Mother of all Theories.”

“The voices convinced you, didn’t they?”

“You and I could share a Kingdom.  I am willing to share my Kingdom with you, don’t you see?”

“I can hold my own.”

“The Syck Monkey dropped the Egg, Fool.  Figure this: this Monkey never lets anything fall out of his grip, it never happened before, it is unlikely to re-occur.  Except there was this one time when the rule was broken because that’s what happens to rules sometimes.  You see, all that the Syck Monkey catches, he holds, he secures and saves.  You know this.”

“I do.”

“Now imagine his mother, The Mother of all Theories, bestowing on him the gift of all creations, of all beginnings and of all ends, the entire beyond and its infinity all contained within one single egg, also known as ‘The One’.”

“What is your point?”

“Wait.  Patience, Fool!  Listen: now, all you need to do is to wish how to create something, anything, for The One to cook up your unborn idea into a new universe.  The One Egg, matures your principle and project into one thing and one only.  Then it cooks it until it is ready before it pops.”

“Dangerous.  Alien creatures of morbid nature may come of it.”

“The One is good.  It sees no evil and hears no evil.”

“Lucky it can’t talk right?  It’s rather farfetched.  You’ve a good imagination.”

“Thank my voices for it.”

“Your—”

Right then and there, a large egg lands on the platform, crashing loudly, disintegrating and smudging the undulating waves with egg yolk and foamy egg white.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 471

“I sit on my throne all day, challenging all armies and creatures that come to my planet to de-throne me.  But none can as they are powerless when confronted by the sheer strength of my planet’s surface.”

“It isn’t a planet, it’s a digestive system.  It would need to relieve itself, it—”

“—It is surrounded by the venomous gas it emits.  No space ship, no creature makes it through unscathed.”

“The Insatiable Princess did.”

“The winds shift the gas.  I don’t control the winds.”

“You could control what your planet gorges.”

“Food is good, I understand the joys of taste buds and I even encourage it.  I control my planet’s food intake when I see fit, when it is necessary and I enjoy being entertained.”

“All theories are valid which are all contained within the Mother of all theories.”

“You allow the voices to speak to you.”

“They’re alive.”

“They’re trapped.  You don’t need me, you have your crowd, your voices, your collectables.”

“Your voice is different.  Your manners are different.  And what is more tempting than having an ex-King become one’s fool at court?”

“Would you consider exchanging me for another prized hostage?”

“I have all that I need here, and now I have thee for keeps.”

“I’ve no crown any more.  I’ve lost touch with She-Coat.”

“I have a secret.  I am also the King of all Universes.”

“Sure.  No doubt, huh?  Let’s suppose—”

“—Your crew is doomed.  You’ll never go back, you’re mine to keep.”

“We shall see.”

“I’ve something which will make you want to stay here forever.”

“Your platform is too small, not interesting at all.”

To be continued…