THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 485

“You will be a hero.”

“I know that, I’ve always known it.  Always said so.  See Captain?  For my country.”

“Labaguette, anyone looking at you can read you like a book.  And remember: my country is yours too, it adopted you” the Captain says.

“My heart cannot be divided and that is why I will be a hero.”

“Your heart contains a multitude.  This isn’t about you Labaguette.  Captain Starcrusher, can we use a time capsule to propel us out of here?”

“It doesn’t work that way.  We shall look at them.  I shall explain some more but it is time to go.

And so, preparations are swift.  The euphoria of the knighthood, dampened by Birdseye’s doomsday’s visions of their future, even if quashed in part by the time capsule potential predictive intervention, subsides and the Insatiable Princess is secured to the shuttle’s flank.

But Captain Traumatic is reluctant to step inside the shuttle.

“You must come inside,” Captain Starcrusher insists, “or else the forces at play when we time travel will leave you behind and reduce you to dust.”

“I must look after the Insatiable Princes.  If she can survive, so can I.”

“Well—”

“—You’re not intending to leave her behind are you?  You’d better get it into your head that she’s a survivor.  What proof do you need, you’re without helmet and you survive, do you not?”

“Very well Captain.  Labaguete, this kingly Fool and Birdseye are all inside.”

“They’re only curious.  They’ve never seen a ship like yours before.”

“Are you not the least interested?”

“A ship’s a ship.  My crew will get bored the minute you close the door on them.”

To be continued…

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THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 484

“What’s got into you Birdseye?” Captain Traumatic asks.

But Birdeye’s large wings close tight on his shoulders and sink on his back as his neck retreats within his shoulders.  His previously colourful feathers take on a darker hue and soon his silhouette is barely distinguishable from that of an old vulture.

“We must leave,” Captain Starcrusher insists.  “Thank you for the ceremony.  I vouch on my two subordinates’ loyalty and fairness.  There is nothing to fear.

Meanwhile, Labaguette whispers words of comfort into Birdseye’s ear:

“Fear not, I will protect you,” he says as Birdseye looks into the parrot’s eyes with sorrow and grief etched deep inside the lines at the corner of his mouth, his goggles now at their darkest.

“—Pardon me Bird, I am from where the croissants rise early, where liberty and equality bear some meaning.  What is it that you know that I should know?”

“It isn’t about you Labaguette.”

“I didn’t—”

“—A time capsule popped while we searched for the Insatiable Princess.”

“What?” Captain Traumatic asks.

“A great way to predict future events.  This is part of Captain Starcrusher’s work, the speeding, the time, the going back and forth.  He was able to identify time articles that could be caught in capsules. ”

“What are you talking about?”

“Correct,” Captain Starcrusher says.

“It won’t be in your books, Captain, because time shifts.  It can’t be caught on a page.  No one controls the capsules.  Yet, we were able to capture time cells and time cluster cells which, when released from their capsules – chose to tell about a significant event, be it half-a-second in advance, 2 or 600 billion years from now.”

“So it did see something about moi?” Labaguette insists.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 483

“Precisely.  Relegated to the Junkyard Space Program for all those not fitting with the Purpose via minimisation: nano particles shall be reduced to nano size multiplied by itself to infinity.”

“Which country is this?”

“My country encompasses all, I shall help its border extensive extension’s propensity.”

“I was King.  Now I am Fool,” King Krackskull Fool says, “what category would I fit in?”

“Ha!” Labaguette exclaims.

“You’re the foolishest fool of them all!” Birdseye says, turning to Captain Clusterflame.

“There’s no time for debate,” Captain Traumatic says, all fine print and subtext will be discussed later.”

“But Captain, a fool such as this one cannot be knighted, much like King Krackskull’s status is no longer that of King.”

“What is it with you Birdseye?”  Are you scared?  Do you wish to be Knight of mine?”

“I do not speak for nothing.”

“Capitaine,” Labaguette says, “Birdseye may have a point, check your library, check your books.”

“We must be getting on.”

Upon these words, Captain Traumatic raises his sword, taps it three times onto Captain Custerflame’s helmet, saying:

“And, I, shall endeavour to promote thorough cleaning of space and its surroundings by means of inter-galactically mixed and organically grown Rum sprinkling and spraying so that crumbs and left overs of all such elements as you described shall disintegrate and space be purified.”

The cosmonaut’s helmet cracks, shatters onto the ship’s woo and he takes his first breath of airspace.

Birdseye turns to space, his goggles lit up and send two powerful laser beam deep into the darkness, illuminating the nothingness all around them, uncovering more depth of nothingness, forming displays of lit up pictures: helmets, barbed wires, Batman’s logo, nuclear explosions and crosses momentarily appear, thus closing the knighthood ritual.

To be continued…