THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 474

This is when the King-of-All-Things disappears, his neck tucked inside his now prominent and protruding shoulders, as if steam was going to puff out of the hole between them, were his head to vanish with the neck.  There he goes needing to get to the bottom of this affair and find the truth about his One Egg while the Monkeys follow him, waiting for deactivation of the destructive, demonised death beams.  Here now, they knock this King off balance and the Egg is lost.  Falling off the edge of the platform.  Falling, falling.  And falling some more.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” he thunders, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

“You do have some powers don’t you?” Captain Traumatic yells, knowing, sensing some fortunate turn of events, his tongue resisting more cynicism, uncertain what this mad King might do next because sometimes, you can never, never really know.

“Here!” he continues, “catch the flag!”

Now Birdseye, on the Captain’s command, throws the Flag onto the platform as the platform appears to slant a little while the flag floats fast towards the side of the platform from which the Egg fell.

With what may have been an attempt at majestic magic, the King-of-all-Things raises arms and hands above his head, trying to magnetically attract the flag with the power contained within his hands but the platform slants some more and away, away floats the flag.

The King-of-all-Things dives into the platform and propels himself forward fast, swimming frantically towards the flag, as if fuelled by an unseen engine.

“Mermaid abilities?” Labaguette muses aloud but the platform’s angle is now tipping at a 40 degree angle.

“Gravity… this cannot be,” the Captain remarks.

“Impossible,” Birdseye confirms.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 473

“Here goes The—”

“—a decoy, Fool.  WHO COMES NEAR?” the King-of-All-Things asks.

“HEEE HAAA!” the Captain yells as Labaguette swoops past the King-of-all-Things, screaming: “A BABORD!  A BABORD!”  The Insatiable Princess had landed in the shadow, behind the King-of-all-Things kingdom and is now floating on the platform with reluctance, willing to take flight at the wink from her Commander.

“Utter madness!” the King-of-all-Things mutters, “they’ve lost it.  I must rid—”

“—They’re back!” the Fool exclaims, “can’t you see?  They’re back.  They will free me.”

“Not so fast, Fool, not so fast.”

Atop a mast of the Insatiable Princess, a majestic man bird stands proudly, his elegant tail spreading its glistening feather, his goggles shining bright.  He holds an egg.  He holds a flag.

“Give me the flag and show some respect, Bird-Man!”

“The Syck Monkey’s children are just that: children.  They’re ready to throw some more.”

“You want the Fool back?  Give me the Flag.”

“It’s the Egg or the flag?”

“You give me the Flag and I give you the Egg.  Do you understand?”

This is when Birdseye switches his goggles on full blare and an Egg of a thousand lights brighten this universe’s entire surroundings.

“I own The One.  It is contained in a restricted area.  Can’t be touched nor retrieved.  It’s protected by destructive and demonised death beams.  I won’t be tricked.”

“This is The One.  T’wasn’t that hard for them Monkeys to grab it before we landed and the monkeys you’re looking at are not cadavers.  They look rather bright and sparkly, don’t you think?”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 472

“I hold the Egg of Creation.  The one before ‘before’, the one laid by the Mother of all Theories.”

“The voices convinced you, didn’t they?”

“You and I could share a Kingdom.  I am willing to share my Kingdom with you, don’t you see?”

“I can hold my own.”

“The Syck Monkey dropped the Egg, Fool.  Figure this: this Monkey never lets anything fall out of his grip, it never happened before, it is unlikely to re-occur.  Except there was this one time when the rule was broken because that’s what happens to rules sometimes.  You see, all that the Syck Monkey catches, he holds, he secures and saves.  You know this.”

“I do.”

“Now imagine his mother, The Mother of all Theories, bestowing on him the gift of all creations, of all beginnings and of all ends, the entire beyond and its infinity all contained within one single egg, also known as ‘The One’.”

“What is your point?”

“Wait.  Patience, Fool!  Listen: now, all you need to do is to wish how to create something, anything, for The One to cook up your unborn idea into a new universe.  The One Egg, matures your principle and project into one thing and one only.  Then it cooks it until it is ready before it pops.”

“Dangerous.  Alien creatures of morbid nature may come of it.”

“The One is good.  It sees no evil and hears no evil.”

“Lucky it can’t talk right?  It’s rather farfetched.  You’ve a good imagination.”

“Thank my voices for it.”

“Your—”

Right then and there, a large egg lands on the platform, crashing loudly, disintegrating and smudging the undulating waves with egg yolk and foamy egg white.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 471

“I sit on my throne all day, challenging all armies and creatures that come to my planet to de-throne me.  But none can as they are powerless when confronted by the sheer strength of my planet’s surface.”

“It isn’t a planet, it’s a digestive system.  It would need to relieve itself, it—”

“—It is surrounded by the venomous gas it emits.  No space ship, no creature makes it through unscathed.”

“The Insatiable Princess did.”

“The winds shift the gas.  I don’t control the winds.”

“You could control what your planet gorges.”

“Food is good, I understand the joys of taste buds and I even encourage it.  I control my planet’s food intake when I see fit, when it is necessary and I enjoy being entertained.”

“All theories are valid which are all contained within the Mother of all theories.”

“You allow the voices to speak to you.”

“They’re alive.”

“They’re trapped.  You don’t need me, you have your crowd, your voices, your collectables.”

“Your voice is different.  Your manners are different.  And what is more tempting than having an ex-King become one’s fool at court?”

“Would you consider exchanging me for another prized hostage?”

“I have all that I need here, and now I have thee for keeps.”

“I’ve no crown any more.  I’ve lost touch with She-Coat.”

“I have a secret.  I am also the King of all Universes.”

“Sure.  No doubt, huh?  Let’s suppose—”

“—Your crew is doomed.  You’ll never go back, you’re mine to keep.”

“We shall see.”

“I’ve something which will make you want to stay here forever.”

“Your platform is too small, not interesting at all.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 470

“I enjoy a state of nothingness in the vast emptiness.  It fulfils me and brings contentment,” the Fool says.

“Yet you travelled accompanied,” the King-of-all-Things remarks.

“It was accidental, a mere trick of fate.  Besides, it’s as I told you: I can’t bring my planet here.  It would be chaos.”

“An erroneous belief, you could try.”

“Your platform and my planet, they’d try and gobble each other up.”

“Hmm.  Your pride is coming in the way.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“You’re a fool, you should know that I am truthfully adaptable.  Collecting gives me a sense of belonging.”

“How can you belong when all that surrounds you is the homogenous, the multiplicity, the transmutable of everything and when nothing fits?”

“It prepares you to any eventuality.  It expands your mind.  You grow.”

“Collectable creatures are you prisoners.  You trap them in your platform and lock them there forever.”

“Call it destiny.  It’s their own doing.  They chose to come my way.  They chose to become collectables.”

“You don’t even play with them.”

“I can hear their voices.  I can hear them talking.  I understand.  It enlightens me.”

“You hear them, huh?  Like you hear me?”

“When I turn the volume up I do.  I don’t shut them up, ever.”

“What are you insinuating?”

“You’re a liar.  Your planet feeds itself of all that falls onto it.  Slowly munching, digesting and belching while you enjoy the show.”

“Not all.”

“Nearly all.”

“Rule of the jungles rules infinity.”

“Your loneliness is increased into infinity as you shut the voices down.”

“It’s not my doing.”

“It’s your ruling.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 469

In a flash, the Syck Monkey clutches his cherished possession and the Insatiable Princess is released from its mooring, rushing under the capable hands of the young monkeys, back towards the King-of-all-Things’ Universe.

“You kept your secret tight.  You could have said something.” the Captain asks.

“Never had the time,” Birdseye said.

“How did you—”

“—used a salmon’s egg but since I’m no salmon, it’s remained an empty shell.”

“Still you could have told me.  A whisper would have done.  We’re almost free, don’t you see?  Out of this rotten lost-in-space-time-continuum will be had soon and back to Earth.”

“Not so free.  Not so soon,” Birdseye says.

“Cheer up Mate!” Labaguette says, “if I didn’t know you better, I’d swear you’re about to jump this ship without wings.  Besides, what was the point of the empty shell if it’s not going to lead us anywhere safe?”

“The egg was part illusion, part shell,” Birsdeye says, “a trick of the goggles.  There was nothing growing in it.  Did we see the real Syck Monkey or not?  It was his shadow.”

“One illusion in exchange for another,” the Captain ponders.

Now, we’ve 25 universal hours to get out of this space, including out of the King-of-all-Things oceanic platform or we will become irretrievable objects forgotten in the deep oblivion of the deep corner of the Syck Monkey’s deep cavern.”

“The Syck Monkey predicted a different outcome for all of us,” Labaguette remarks.

“Maybe, maybe not.  Alternative realities abound.  It only takes a feather’s atomic particle to allow switching from one reality to another.”

Meanwhile, back on the platform where the King-of-all-Things and a Fool are debating, a storm is brewing on this Universe’s horizon.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 468

“But first,” the Syck Monkey’s children continue writing, “the flag must be exchanged and an egg delivered in return.”

“Why didn’t you say before?” Labaguette asks.

“There was a time you could not even read, Labaguette,” the Captain marvels.

“It was latent for a while.  I could read but I could not express it.”

“Featherly regenerescence,” Birdseye comments.

“Feather what?”

Three Monkeys jump back onto the Insatiable Princess, a flag in hand.

“We should elope” Labaguette whispers once more into the Captain’s ear.

There, three monkeys are tying white ropes, unfolding sails while their father’s domineering and powerful shadow looks on.

The Captain grabs the flag and as soon as he unfolds it, there is a burning flash before the flag rolls back onto itself emitting more sparks.  A shower of falling objects, creatures and stars pass them by.

“That’s you told Captain!” Labaguette remarks.

“Shut up!”

A young monkey carries the flag and attached it around the main mast.

“THE EGG!” are the words now showing in gigantic letters on the Universe’s wall.

The Captain scratches his head, looking at Birdseye.

Labaguette smoothes a brilliant rose feather, not looking at anyone.

Birdseye sits, his goggle light up a pale blue as his tail widens, sparkles and shudders.

“If he weren’t a policeman-dancer,” Labaguette says, “he might have been an ostrich.”

“Ostriches are not know to survive in these regions,” the Captain remarks, an air of distraction lifting his puzzled eyebrows.

As he stands again, Birdseye extends his arms and hands holding a large, smooth, sparkling and mauve egg of a substantial size which he offers the Syck Monkey’s shadow.

“Didn’t think he had it in him,” Labaguette says with a sense of purpose.

“He had the egg all along,” musters the Captain.

To be continued…