THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 473

“Here goes The—”

“—a decoy, Fool.  WHO COMES NEAR?” the King-of-All-Things asks.

“HEEE HAAA!” the Captain yells as Labaguette swoops past the King-of-all-Things, screaming: “A BABORD!  A BABORD!”  The Insatiable Princess had landed in the shadow, behind the King-of-all-Things kingdom and is now floating on the platform with reluctance, willing to take flight at the wink from her Commander.

“Utter madness!” the King-of-all-Things mutters, “they’ve lost it.  I must rid—”

“—They’re back!” the Fool exclaims, “can’t you see?  They’re back.  They will free me.”

“Not so fast, Fool, not so fast.”

Atop a mast of the Insatiable Princess, a majestic man bird stands proudly, his elegant tail spreading its glistening feather, his goggles shining bright.  He holds an egg.  He holds a flag.

“Give me the flag and show some respect, Bird-Man!”

“The Syck Monkey’s children are just that: children.  They’re ready to throw some more.”

“You want the Fool back?  Give me the Flag.”

“It’s the Egg or the flag?”

“You give me the Flag and I give you the Egg.  Do you understand?”

This is when Birdseye switches his goggles on full blare and an Egg of a thousand lights brighten this universe’s entire surroundings.

“I own The One.  It is contained in a restricted area.  Can’t be touched nor retrieved.  It’s protected by destructive and demonised death beams.  I won’t be tricked.”

“This is The One.  T’wasn’t that hard for them Monkeys to grab it before we landed and the monkeys you’re looking at are not cadavers.  They look rather bright and sparkly, don’t you think?”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 469

In a flash, the Syck Monkey clutches his cherished possession and the Insatiable Princess is released from its mooring, rushing under the capable hands of the young monkeys, back towards the King-of-all-Things’ Universe.

“You kept your secret tight.  You could have said something.” the Captain asks.

“Never had the time,” Birdseye said.

“How did you—”

“—used a salmon’s egg but since I’m no salmon, it’s remained an empty shell.”

“Still you could have told me.  A whisper would have done.  We’re almost free, don’t you see?  Out of this rotten lost-in-space-time-continuum will be had soon and back to Earth.”

“Not so free.  Not so soon,” Birdseye says.

“Cheer up Mate!” Labaguette says, “if I didn’t know you better, I’d swear you’re about to jump this ship without wings.  Besides, what was the point of the empty shell if it’s not going to lead us anywhere safe?”

“The egg was part illusion, part shell,” Birsdeye says, “a trick of the goggles.  There was nothing growing in it.  Did we see the real Syck Monkey or not?  It was his shadow.”

“One illusion in exchange for another,” the Captain ponders.

Now, we’ve 25 universal hours to get out of this space, including out of the King-of-all-Things oceanic platform or we will become irretrievable objects forgotten in the deep oblivion of the deep corner of the Syck Monkey’s deep cavern.”

“The Syck Monkey predicted a different outcome for all of us,” Labaguette remarks.

“Maybe, maybe not.  Alternative realities abound.  It only takes a feather’s atomic particle to allow switching from one reality to another.”

Meanwhile, back on the platform where the King-of-all-Things and a Fool are debating, a storm is brewing on this Universe’s horizon.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 467

“Reality and perception are flexible.”

“You acknowledged the Earth was round, Captain.”

“Aye, aye.  The fact is that rules, any rule, enjoy bending.  And a fact’s a fact.  How else could universes of books and creatures like Mouton Blanc and Spinostress exist?”

“The Syck Monkey intends to get back to Earth,” Birdseye says.

“I reckon he wants us to bring the Mother land to him.  That way, he can’t be rejected again and on top of it, he can boast about it.”

“He would have Superman’s story in his collection,” Labaguette says, “he must know he could get back there a hero.”

“Something to do with his Ape status,” the Captain says, “he’s certain that he and his descendants are a threat to humanity.”

“They’ve no female in their species,” Labaguette remarks.

“They only need one egg, mostly through a bird’s help, although…”

And while the Captain muses and the three of them debate on theories of universes, apes and eggs of all kinds, the Syck Monkey directs his children to write on the Universe’s wall, in large black letters:

‘The Shuttle is the Saviour.  Birdseye’s wings move mountains.  The Insatiable Princess falls in love with a blue bayou.  Labaguette sits with A. Lincoln.  Captain Traumatic rises.’

Now the Syck Monkey has their undivided attention.

“He thinks he is the next prophet,” Labaguette says, “he and his puppets.”

“You understand what he is saying?” the Captain asks.

“Some prediction.  When you can’t utter a word and you live amongst shadows, the only way to power is to cast more shadows by pretending you know it all and not doubt yourself.”

“Delusional?  Can’t be.  Far-fetched.  What are you talking about Labaguette?”

“The Syck Monkey is trying to help,” Birdseye maintains.

“Yeah right!?” the Captain and Labaguette remark in unison.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 466

“Wait a minute,” the Captain interrupts, “eggs can only be found on Earth.  If you lay two of them on their side, their top side facing each other, we have an infinity sign!  a wealth of universes.”

“These Monkeys aren’t from Earth Captain,” Labaguette says, “even if they came out of eggs.”

“There’s a connection,” Birdseye insists.

Now the Syck Monkey is dancing, a Charlie Chaplin act, helped by his stick and his sons imitating him.

“We’re close to the truth,” the Captain says, “I know it”.

“Undecipherable,” Labaguette says.

“The Mother Land,” Birdseye says.

“What?” the Captain asks.

“The Mother Land.”

“Planet Earth is the Mother Land?” Captain Traumatic asks.  “The Syck Monkey would be part reality and part myth?”

Birdseye nods.

“Have you completely lost your mind?” Labaguette asks.

“The Syck Monkey is likely to born out of an egg on Earth in spite of possible evidence to the contrary,” the Captain says.

“Precisely!” Labaguette says.

“Well, that’s just it Labaguette: though no monkeys are ever born out of eggs on Earth, the Syck Monkey is a fluke, not meant to be, a transition, a genetic mutation that occurs once in the lifetime within a multiplicity of universes because diversity rules.  When his mother bird, or whoever she was realised it, she carried the Egg to the edge of the Earth and sent it adrift on a rudderless ship.”

“I’ve heard that one before Captain, remember?”  Labaguette remarks, “we’ve learned that the Earth isn’t flat and we know that this Monkey doesn’t travel by ship.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 465

One giant monkey’s angry shadow stands with its arms on its hips while three smaller ones huddle in a corner, suddenly wise, definitely curious but most of all in fear of what may come.  The Syck Monkey reaches out for a shadow projector and sets out to cast the history of a universe of shadows, his own universe, filled with hidden treasures that cannot be seen by most, except as black shapes cut on lit up universal walls.

The Syck Monkey holds a long black stick and points first to two infinity signs being added together before showing and insisting on the result several times.

“I reckon he hasn’t got enough,” Labaguette says.

“Two infinity signs are an impossibility,” the Captain remarks.

“There is more to it than meets the eye,” Birdseye says.

“Parallel universes, huh?” the Captain asks.

“His equation needs a multiply sign, not a plus sign,” Birdseye comments.

“What’s that got to do with us?” Labaguette says, “collectables or not, we’d be better off making a run for it.”

“The Insatiable Princess is moored to this Monkey’s estate by an invisible locking device,” the Captain says.

But the Syck Monkey slams his stick against a gong to re-capture his captives’ interest, pointing at the result again: a larger infinite sign standing upright and before the crew has time to scratch their heads, he replaces the first infinity sign with a large cut out three dimensional shadow of what looks like planet earth.

“Yes mate,” Labaguette utters, “that’s right, the Earth is a self-contained universe.”

“He wants to acquire the Earth, add it to his collection,” the Captain says.

“Impossible,” Birdseye says, “impossible”.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 464

“We’re collectables,” the Captain says.”

“Aren’t we on a mission?” Labaguette asks.

At that moment, a flag and three eggs appear on the ship’s deck and the resounding echo of laughter penetrates their brains from all directions.  Four monkeys lost in hilarity.

“Tis all we need, mockery and sarcasms,” the Captain says, “Hey, misters, if you’re so very clever, why not tell us what you want from us?  Why not share your secrets?  Why not invite us to witness the scope and depth of your treasures?  Because all that you are now is irritating legend, yes, you, unexplained and mysterious myth of infinite garbage!  You’ve only showed yourselves cast as shadows.  In truth, cowards… and you… you especially young monkeys:  I fed you, protected you, let you weave your oddities inside the Insatiable Princess’ belly at will and all you can do now is to repay me by insinuating your presence and deriding us?  You don’t come close to the shadows of your former selves.  Consider yourselves disowned.”

And so, there is a shift in the agitated air around them, and it seems an argument takes place in the shadow, shadows amongst shadows.  Fists, feet and even tails are punching, stirring breeze and winds until finally, a squeal breaks the silence and a switch is found.  Here, here comes the the light.  Here, an entire universe contained within a cavern of shadows with silhouettes of unfathomable treasures cut flat on unending, lit up walls.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 463

Then, the shadow on this universe’s wall rematerializes displaying three monkeys holding each other in such manner as to form an almost perfect egg shape.  Underneath it, the shadow of the Syck Monkey is holding the egg stable above his head, his tail weaving a dance, a charming snake, insinuating, dancing some more to a sound that can be felt and is palpable but that cannot be heard.

“This is all very charming,” the Captain says, “but—”

His last words are drowned by Recovery Space Shuttle 593’s engines pulling from its mooring at full thrust.  Vapours and smoke invade all that surround as light flickers before disappearing and the clear track of the shuttle leaves its mark behind it, opening a piece of sky that could not be seen before under these latitudes: a clear, blue and pristine sky only seen back on earth.

“Look!” the Captain exclaims, unable to find a better word as smoke soon closes his vision of heaven on earth with great big swirls of pinks, white and grey puffs before engulfing it once more with its darker blanket.

“We’ve achieved nothing.  We’ve met a Shuttle that has not even been collected by the Syck Monkey.  My patience has its limits.  We too should be getting back on the road.  Labaguette, attend to the sails!  Birdseye, perch at the front will you, and look out for surprises!”

“Ai, Ai Captain!” Labaguette retorts, “whereto?”

“Anywhere so long it’s outta here bird!”

“There’s no wind and—,” Birdseye says.

“—we only need a sea,” Labaguette remarks.

“We won’t get away so easily without some tough bargaining,” Birdseye adds.

To be continued…