THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 505

“You’ve altered the rules and interfered with the possibilities offered by one capsule, tampering with time,” Captain Starcrusher says, “It is unforgivable.  We do not know what this future holds but we know of yours: it shall be as it is said.”

“Why not admit you did it?” Captain Clusterflame insists, looking at Captain Sunblast.

“I locked it.  I locked the capsule’s timing so it could not be interfered with.  But only after I found it in the wrong box,” Captain Sunblast maintains, “now, out with the truth, you,” he says, holding Captain Clusterflame’s tighter.

“I adjusted the capsule’s electronic handles to delay it by one earth second for every two intergalactic seconds that elapsed,” Captain Clusterflame admits, “for safety reasons.”

“What does that mean?”

“If my calculations are right, we should—”

“—There’s a chance you could be right?”

“This mist is thick beyond belief,” Captain Traumatic says, “where is it taking us?”

Then there is a thump and a clang.  The type of thump you hear when your ship and your shuttle dock in unison.

“Look, this isn’t bad as it seems,” Captain Clusterflame insists.  “We’re back on Earth, should be.”

In front of them, it looks like Earth, only busier they’ve known it to be: buildings of all sizes spread as far as they can see and behind them, the sea is covered by a thick blanket of impenetrable mist that lingers.  Each building has an unbuilt clock at its top and the sounds of ticking echoes all around them.  Only a few display the same time.

“What year is this?” Captain Starcrusher asks.

“The year time travel was made official and available to all, before the Great Time War.  Should be year 4,398.”

To be continued…

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THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 504

And before his next thought reaches the subsequent neuron in his brain, Birdseye catches the future capsule in his polished, flawless clawed feet as he flies up, up and up above the Insatiable Princess, forming loops, enjoying weightlessness effortlessly.

Labaguette, accompanies him.  “You can fly!?  How did—”

But Labaguette’s words are interrupted abruptly as one well-adjusted sling-shot hits Birdseye’s right foot at the speed of light: his claw releases the capsule in an instant which, under the mesmerised and dismayed eyes of all hits the Insatiable Princess’s deck, cracks open and releases its substance: a bright yellowish green vapour with a tinge of purple, a slimy ingredient that spreads, stretches and surrounds all within close proximity: ship, crew, shuttle and birds of a kind, in their flight.

“It all comes down to life and death,” Birdseye explains as Labaguette perches on his Captain’s shoulder croaking:

“We weren’t about to die.”

“We’re about to live,” Birdseye insists.

Meanwhile, as the contents of the capsule does what it does best and takes all of them into a new era, Captain Sunblast and Captain Starcrusher spring intrepidly upon Captain Clusterflame, seizing him.  Then, as Captain Clusterflame kneels with his hands tied behind his back, Captain Sunblast decrees:

“At the next port of entry, be it planet, asteroid or moon, you will be released of your duties and condemned to exile for as long as your life shall last.”

“I did not tamper with the capsule,” Captain Clusterflame exclaims, “I merely ended a situation.  Think about it: I am not smart enough to tamper with time.  Only you both are able to do so.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 503

“It’s in the science lab!” Captain Clusterflame yells, his face crimson.

When Captain Starcrusher reappears, he carries the capsule in a small, transparent, indestructible box.

“You could have told me where it was instead of letting me look for it.  Why—”

“—That’s where it was supposed to be.  You forgot.”

“I never forget.”

“All too convenient.  I never forget.” Captain Sunblast adds.

“Why did you put it there?” Captain Starcrusher insists, “you know the least about the capsules.”

“I thought it safer.”

“He lies!” Labaguette yells, grinning.

“He’s lying,” Captain Traumatic acknowledges.

“That’s a lie,” the King-Fool emphasises.

“Lies and more lies,” Birdseye continues.

“In space, there is no such thing as biased democratic consultations or witch-hunts!” Captain Sunblast blasts.

“No rules,” Captain Traumatic reiterates, “Gimme that damned bloody future capsule and I’ll show you how we can still have choices.”

“Stay out of this!” Captain Sunblast orders, “we’ve seen what you and your parrot are capable of.”

“The capsule is useless.  It’s been tampered with.”

“He tampered with it,” Labaguette says, pointing his wing at Captain Sunblast.

“He did!” The King-Fool says.

“The future belongs to me,” Birdseye says, looking intently below him, his goggles lighting up, their beams focussing on the capsule.

“You can’t possibly…” Captain Traumatic says, “you can’t fly!”

“Only I can fly,” Labaguette remarks.  “STOOOOOOP!” he yells at his comrade about to take a potentially deadly leap of faith.

“I can do what I want.  I can create my own future,” Birdseye insists.  Then, he raises his neck to the starless sky, deploys his wings and plunges towards the capsule, his future and Captain Starcrusher, mesmerised at the sight of this man-creature’s majestic and reckless, kamikaze style approach.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 499

“There’s a reason he talks too much,” Captain Traumatic tries, “Why is there a Law of Time?” caressing Labaguette’s plumage, soothing the parrot.  “Who decreed there should be one?”

“Enough talk.  Time to travel.”

Labaguette frees himself from Captain Traumatic’s loose grip, and before anyone realises it, has retrieved a capsule from Captain Clusterflame’s hands and is flying heavily and dangerously over the ship’s deck.

“Damn bird!  Come back here, now or I’ll shoot!” Captain Clusterflame orders before a flask of rum strikes him in the face and the Captain threatens the cosmonaut’s suit and its contents with his sword

“—Why is there a Law of Time?” the Captain insists as the three cosmonauts, appearing to give in to an unspoken code of conduct, sit on the Insatiable Princess’ deck, calm as sheep.

“Time particles were stumbled upon in Geneva, by the side of a mountain by a gardener.” Captain Clusterflame explains.  “They were growing unnoticed outside of an experimental tunnel which is no more, swallowed, it is understood, by a gap in time or time warp as these are also known.”

“A gardener?”

“A gardener specialising in unknown species of plants, a gardener-scientist known for its experimentation with all living things containing chlorophyll.”

“He found them or planted them?”

“Found them.  He wasn’t that smart.”

“Where is he now?”

“He disappeared.”

“Let me guess, in a time loop?”

“You’ve got the jest.”

“What did he look like?”

“Insignificant, common.  Such a chameleon it is hard to remember anything physical particular about him.  His real name he never disclosed but for a while, he enjoyed fame and called himself ‘ChloRo-the-Great’.

“CHLOROPH!” Captain Traumatic, Labaguette, the King-Fool and Birdseye exclaim simultaneously.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 498

A King-Fool can be wise, very wise, so much so that such potent amalgamation of King and Fool multiplies its inherent wisdom to infinity, or so would one believe.  But, as desirous as he may be to demonstrate intelligence, pride, nobility and all such royal and pedantic characteristics, this King-Fool ends up doing the opposite and acts naively and very, very stupidly as one who thinks it is best to hand over present and future time capsules to a cosmonaut with a penchant for the law, in space.

“If these are the copies, where are the originals?” he even asks.

“We hold the originals.  They are protected under the Law of Time.  They cannot be used unless all else fails.”

“We’ve reached the last resort, the no-return point where we’ve no other option but to use the originals, haven’t we?” the King-Fool insists.

“What was started must be finished.  This is based on pure scientific facts: we have no proof that an irregularity has been committed.”

“We have, you know so.  You said so.”

“Knowing differs from knowing for a fact.  This situation has never been tested up until now.”

“You said that the shuttle’s instruments are disabled and generating undetectable time particles of unknown substances and magnitude.”

“That was then.  This is now.”

“You’re wasting time.”

“We’re suspended in time.  We must use the two copies first.  Only if these fail to deliver shall we be allowed to use the originals.”

“This means damage has been done,” Labaguette continues, “I know so because I’m experienced in Space Rules and I know that in space anything’s possible, you’re the living proof of it.”

“Shut your crap-all-talking bird, Captain or I’ll have him confined in a rogue time capsule of his own!” Captain Starcrusher orders.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 496

“The rules The Law of Time as you know them, huh?  There is a non-edited and a limited version?” Captain Traumatic insists.

“The time capsules could be used in a circular motion,” Captain Sunblast ventures, “it has been suggested before, but it is illegal because it breaks the Code of Convention on the ethics of time travelling established by the Geneva Roll-X Convention, Article XXVIIIIIIIII.1) e.o.n, era 55X, year 2020.  You are in possession of the copies of the original time capsules and, aside of the shuttle’s instruments now being disabled and generating undetectable time particles of unknown substances and magnitude, these copies’ imprint may be lacking.”

“Lacking in what?  And I told you: I don’t have them,” the Captain insists, looking at the King-Fool.

“I’ve nothing to do with breaking time,” the King-Fool admits, it fell at the wrong time.  It was purely coincidental, a lack of synchronicity, that’s all.  It was meant to be caught but fell of its own accord, out of my hands, out of reach, a fated mistiming instant in time.”

“You juggled time?” Captain Starcrusher asks, dismayed.

“You broke the law,” Captain Sunblast affirms.

“No one can ignore the law,” Captain Clusterflame continues, “not even I,” his eyes achieving a rounder shape, one close to allow popping out of their sockets as if to convince of his righteousness through a hypnosis technique only he knows of.

“Such law does not exist when one isn’t aware of it,” Captain Traumatic says.

“We came from the past,” the King-Fool says, “as you came from the future, looking for us.  How could we know of a law that hadn’t yet been invented?”

“Linear.  Time is linear.  Knock this into your head!” Captain Starcrusher says.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 495

“Time isn’t linear,” the Captain remarks.

“Time is my specialty,” Captain Starcrusher insists, a rictus of “I know more” etched alongside the left of his lips.

“The current rule states that what is must be and all that could be is debatable.  As it stands and to be precise, we are located a nano-fraction of time before what must be, where what will be could be and remains debatable.  Do you want me to repeat it?”

“I understand that being wedged between time zones means we are in a timeless zone, where time is of no consequences and where, if the edges of yesterday, today and tomorrow were allowed to mingle, the edge of tomorrow could meet the edge of yesterday.”

“Wait a minute,” Labaguette interrupts, “if we stayed here I would never grow old?  My plumage would remain shiny and velvety for ever and ever?”

“And therefore we could get back to the beginning, to before we fell off the ocean’s precipice…” Captain Traumatic concludes.

“I could remain the lonesome, awesome King my planet until the end of time…” the King-Fool ponders aloud.

“I would be born in future,” Birdseye muses, “My eyes would see in broad daylight, through the heart of shadows and dark places and would take me places without the need for wings.”

“Don’t you dream of anything of the sort,” Captain Sunblast adds, a joy slayer in the making.

“Time is circular.  It’s blinding obvious.  You could be creative with that,” the Captain continues, “want some Rum?”

Captain Sunblast opens a drawer, takes out a tissue this time and sponges his sweating forehead, before discarding it and throwing it into the distilled air, watching as it disintegrates.

“You must realise that there are rules.”

To be continued…