THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 469

In a flash, the Syck Monkey clutches his cherished possession and the Insatiable Princess is released from its mooring, rushing under the capable hands of the young monkeys, back towards the King-of-all-Things’ Universe.

“You kept your secret tight.  You could have said something.” the Captain asks.

“Never had the time,” Birdseye said.

“How did you—”

“—used a salmon’s egg but since I’m no salmon, it’s remained an empty shell.”

“Still you could have told me.  A whisper would have done.  We’re almost free, don’t you see?  Out of this rotten lost-in-space-time-continuum will be had soon and back to Earth.”

“Not so free.  Not so soon,” Birdseye says.

“Cheer up Mate!” Labaguette says, “if I didn’t know you better, I’d swear you’re about to jump this ship without wings.  Besides, what was the point of the empty shell if it’s not going to lead us anywhere safe?”

“The egg was part illusion, part shell,” Birsdeye says, “a trick of the goggles.  There was nothing growing in it.  Did we see the real Syck Monkey or not?  It was his shadow.”

“One illusion in exchange for another,” the Captain ponders.

Now, we’ve 25 universal hours to get out of this space, including out of the King-of-all-Things oceanic platform or we will become irretrievable objects forgotten in the deep oblivion of the deep corner of the Syck Monkey’s deep cavern.”

“The Syck Monkey predicted a different outcome for all of us,” Labaguette remarks.

“Maybe, maybe not.  Alternative realities abound.  It only takes a feather’s atomic particle to allow switching from one reality to another.”

Meanwhile, back on the platform where the King-of-all-Things and a Fool are debating, a storm is brewing on this Universe’s horizon.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 467

“Reality and perception are flexible.”

“You acknowledged the Earth was round, Captain.”

“Aye, aye.  The fact is that rules, any rule, enjoy bending.  And a fact’s a fact.  How else could universes of books and creatures like Mouton Blanc and Spinostress exist?”

“The Syck Monkey intends to get back to Earth,” Birdseye says.

“I reckon he wants us to bring the Mother land to him.  That way, he can’t be rejected again and on top of it, he can boast about it.”

“He would have Superman’s story in his collection,” Labaguette says, “he must know he could get back there a hero.”

“Something to do with his Ape status,” the Captain says, “he’s certain that he and his descendants are a threat to humanity.”

“They’ve no female in their species,” Labaguette remarks.

“They only need one egg, mostly through a bird’s help, although…”

And while the Captain muses and the three of them debate on theories of universes, apes and eggs of all kinds, the Syck Monkey directs his children to write on the Universe’s wall, in large black letters:

‘The Shuttle is the Saviour.  Birdseye’s wings move mountains.  The Insatiable Princess falls in love with a blue bayou.  Labaguette sits with A. Lincoln.  Captain Traumatic rises.’

Now the Syck Monkey has their undivided attention.

“He thinks he is the next prophet,” Labaguette says, “he and his puppets.”

“You understand what he is saying?” the Captain asks.

“Some prediction.  When you can’t utter a word and you live amongst shadows, the only way to power is to cast more shadows by pretending you know it all and not doubt yourself.”

“Delusional?  Can’t be.  Far-fetched.  What are you talking about Labaguette?”

“The Syck Monkey is trying to help,” Birdseye maintains.

“Yeah right!?” the Captain and Labaguette remark in unison.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 466

“Wait a minute,” the Captain interrupts, “eggs can only be found on Earth.  If you lay two of them on their side, their top side facing each other, we have an infinity sign!  a wealth of universes.”

“These Monkeys aren’t from Earth Captain,” Labaguette says, “even if they came out of eggs.”

“There’s a connection,” Birdseye insists.

Now the Syck Monkey is dancing, a Charlie Chaplin act, helped by his stick and his sons imitating him.

“We’re close to the truth,” the Captain says, “I know it”.

“Undecipherable,” Labaguette says.

“The Mother Land,” Birdseye says.

“What?” the Captain asks.

“The Mother Land.”

“Planet Earth is the Mother Land?” Captain Traumatic asks.  “The Syck Monkey would be part reality and part myth?”

Birdseye nods.

“Have you completely lost your mind?” Labaguette asks.

“The Syck Monkey is likely to born out of an egg on Earth in spite of possible evidence to the contrary,” the Captain says.

“Precisely!” Labaguette says.

“Well, that’s just it Labaguette: though no monkeys are ever born out of eggs on Earth, the Syck Monkey is a fluke, not meant to be, a transition, a genetic mutation that occurs once in the lifetime within a multiplicity of universes because diversity rules.  When his mother bird, or whoever she was realised it, she carried the Egg to the edge of the Earth and sent it adrift on a rudderless ship.”

“I’ve heard that one before Captain, remember?”  Labaguette remarks, “we’ve learned that the Earth isn’t flat and we know that this Monkey doesn’t travel by ship.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 463

Then, the shadow on this universe’s wall rematerializes displaying three monkeys holding each other in such manner as to form an almost perfect egg shape.  Underneath it, the shadow of the Syck Monkey is holding the egg stable above his head, his tail weaving a dance, a charming snake, insinuating, dancing some more to a sound that can be felt and is palpable but that cannot be heard.

“This is all very charming,” the Captain says, “but—”

His last words are drowned by Recovery Space Shuttle 593’s engines pulling from its mooring at full thrust.  Vapours and smoke invade all that surround as light flickers before disappearing and the clear track of the shuttle leaves its mark behind it, opening a piece of sky that could not be seen before under these latitudes: a clear, blue and pristine sky only seen back on earth.

“Look!” the Captain exclaims, unable to find a better word as smoke soon closes his vision of heaven on earth with great big swirls of pinks, white and grey puffs before engulfing it once more with its darker blanket.

“We’ve achieved nothing.  We’ve met a Shuttle that has not even been collected by the Syck Monkey.  My patience has its limits.  We too should be getting back on the road.  Labaguette, attend to the sails!  Birdseye, perch at the front will you, and look out for surprises!”

“Ai, Ai Captain!” Labaguette retorts, “whereto?”

“Anywhere so long it’s outta here bird!”

“There’s no wind and—,” Birdseye says.

“—we only need a sea,” Labaguette remarks.

“We won’t get away so easily without some tough bargaining,” Birdseye adds.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 460

Truly, really, honestly… how could it be that this crew’s actions could be dictated by nothing more than a voice?  A voice speaking for egg shells, an enticing, reassuring, mesmerising and much obliging voice, were it not so insidiously commanding them with no available alternatives?  What else lurks in the dark when egg shaped lights are off and ignorance catches one unaware?

“I don’t like this,” Labaguette whispers.

“They can hear you,” Birdseye says.

“FUCK OFF!” the Captain yells suddenly, screaming at the top of his head for the whole universe to hear.

“Captain!” Labaguette and Birdseye exclaim in unison as a medium size fish flies into the Captain’s face before landing on the ship’s deck.

“What was that for?” the Captain asks.

“I’ll carry a fish egg back,” Birdseye decides, convinced he must obey.

“It’s a fish,” the Captain remarks.

“It’s a salmon.  It’s female.  Inside are its eggs,” Birdseye exclaims.

“I’ll carry the flag,” Labaguette continues.

“This is an insult to my sort.  YOU LOT!!  I’M A PIRATE!!” the Captain yells to the darkness, to the egg shaped lights, to the invisible monkeys.  “I want nothing to do with fishing rods, a fish or fish eggs!” the Captain says.

Then the voice, unaffected, proceeds to inform them how the recycled egg shells are used to help mutating proteins contained within the walls of the shells, between the fine, delicate membrane surrounding the egg wall and the egg wall itself.

“Science doesn’t grab me,” Labaguette states.

“The proteins could be used to polish your feathers for example,” the Captain sneers.

“More eggs.  More stars,” Birdseye comments.

“You dream too much,” Labaguette says, smoothing his purple most feather.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 459

“The illusion is real,” Birdseye says.

A third spot of light, egg shaped, appears presenting the shadow of a rocket standing, emitting puffs of smoke, in waiting, as if it is ready to take off.

Then a voice, not unlike that of an air hostess but less serviceable, less predictable, and unquestionably more spellbinding, like that of a regular mermaid, one with hair made of gold thread and with diamond shells covering her breasts begins her song.  And this is how, while the monkeys, still hanging by their tail and still munching, still chomping, the Captain, Birdseye and Labaguette learn about the eggs shaped lights and how these are extracted from the real egg shells from which the monkeys were born.

The crew ponder and wonder in amazement at the idea that the Syck Monckey himself would have been nurtured inside such an egg and that he would have been born from it.  How could it be that he had not created himself by pure legendary and mythical coincidence?  Or how could it be that he had not been in existence since all things began to exist?  He is, all things considered, a fluke of nature, a freak, a revered loner with much influence and, had he acquired the gift of speech, a wonder creature with much to brag about.

But the mermaid’s singing does not allow for lengthy musing, merely enough for the crew to ingest, understand and know what is to be done.  What?  Wait a minute.  Who said something would have to be done?  And by whom?

To be continued…