THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 473

“Here goes The—”

“—a decoy, Fool.  WHO COMES NEAR?” the King-of-All-Things asks.

“HEEE HAAA!” the Captain yells as Labaguette swoops past the King-of-all-Things, screaming: “A BABORD!  A BABORD!”  The Insatiable Princess had landed in the shadow, behind the King-of-all-Things kingdom and is now floating on the platform with reluctance, willing to take flight at the wink from her Commander.

“Utter madness!” the King-of-all-Things mutters, “they’ve lost it.  I must rid—”

“—They’re back!” the Fool exclaims, “can’t you see?  They’re back.  They will free me.”

“Not so fast, Fool, not so fast.”

Atop a mast of the Insatiable Princess, a majestic man bird stands proudly, his elegant tail spreading its glistening feather, his goggles shining bright.  He holds an egg.  He holds a flag.

“Give me the flag and show some respect, Bird-Man!”

“The Syck Monkey’s children are just that: children.  They’re ready to throw some more.”

“You want the Fool back?  Give me the Flag.”

“It’s the Egg or the flag?”

“You give me the Flag and I give you the Egg.  Do you understand?”

This is when Birdseye switches his goggles on full blare and an Egg of a thousand lights brighten this universe’s entire surroundings.

“I own The One.  It is contained in a restricted area.  Can’t be touched nor retrieved.  It’s protected by destructive and demonised death beams.  I won’t be tricked.”

“This is The One.  T’wasn’t that hard for them Monkeys to grab it before we landed and the monkeys you’re looking at are not cadavers.  They look rather bright and sparkly, don’t you think?”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 472

“I hold the Egg of Creation.  The one before ‘before’, the one laid by the Mother of all Theories.”

“The voices convinced you, didn’t they?”

“You and I could share a Kingdom.  I am willing to share my Kingdom with you, don’t you see?”

“I can hold my own.”

“The Syck Monkey dropped the Egg, Fool.  Figure this: this Monkey never lets anything fall out of his grip, it never happened before, it is unlikely to re-occur.  Except there was this one time when the rule was broken because that’s what happens to rules sometimes.  You see, all that the Syck Monkey catches, he holds, he secures and saves.  You know this.”

“I do.”

“Now imagine his mother, The Mother of all Theories, bestowing on him the gift of all creations, of all beginnings and of all ends, the entire beyond and its infinity all contained within one single egg, also known as ‘The One’.”

“What is your point?”

“Wait.  Patience, Fool!  Listen: now, all you need to do is to wish how to create something, anything, for The One to cook up your unborn idea into a new universe.  The One Egg, matures your principle and project into one thing and one only.  Then it cooks it until it is ready before it pops.”

“Dangerous.  Alien creatures of morbid nature may come of it.”

“The One is good.  It sees no evil and hears no evil.”

“Lucky it can’t talk right?  It’s rather farfetched.  You’ve a good imagination.”

“Thank my voices for it.”

“Your—”

Right then and there, a large egg lands on the platform, crashing loudly, disintegrating and smudging the undulating waves with egg yolk and foamy egg white.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 471

“I sit on my throne all day, challenging all armies and creatures that come to my planet to de-throne me.  But none can as they are powerless when confronted by the sheer strength of my planet’s surface.”

“It isn’t a planet, it’s a digestive system.  It would need to relieve itself, it—”

“—It is surrounded by the venomous gas it emits.  No space ship, no creature makes it through unscathed.”

“The Insatiable Princess did.”

“The winds shift the gas.  I don’t control the winds.”

“You could control what your planet gorges.”

“Food is good, I understand the joys of taste buds and I even encourage it.  I control my planet’s food intake when I see fit, when it is necessary and I enjoy being entertained.”

“All theories are valid which are all contained within the Mother of all theories.”

“You allow the voices to speak to you.”

“They’re alive.”

“They’re trapped.  You don’t need me, you have your crowd, your voices, your collectables.”

“Your voice is different.  Your manners are different.  And what is more tempting than having an ex-King become one’s fool at court?”

“Would you consider exchanging me for another prized hostage?”

“I have all that I need here, and now I have thee for keeps.”

“I’ve no crown any more.  I’ve lost touch with She-Coat.”

“I have a secret.  I am also the King of all Universes.”

“Sure.  No doubt, huh?  Let’s suppose—”

“—Your crew is doomed.  You’ll never go back, you’re mine to keep.”

“We shall see.”

“I’ve something which will make you want to stay here forever.”

“Your platform is too small, not interesting at all.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 456

“You’re a fluke!  You’ve taken over the Syck Monkey’s job!” Labaguette exclaims.

“He collects for himself.  It’s his world, his Alibaba cavern.  I collect for everyone, for the greater good of all.  My world is made of lists, receipts and items in exchange for more.”

“Yeah right!” the Captain says as the Insatiable Princess shudders and the ropes unfold some more out of the deck before straightening towards the disappeared shuttle, but no one takes notice.

“We work together.”

“Why would the Syck Monkey steal from you?”

“Synchronicity.”

“Huh?”

“A falling egg.  A fortunate mismatch over place and timing.  One precious egg.  Caught it falling from Syck Monkey’s cavern though I did not know this at the time.”

“We’re out of here,” the Captain says, “we don’t need to get involved.”

Upon those words, the King-of-all-Things, who is not one to chew his words for too long, points to the platform and a tsunami approaches fast, with a few tornadoes following at a short distance behind.

“All right, all right, all right!” Captain Traumatic concedes, his pupils darker than they’ve ever been.

“This won’t do, Captain!” Birdseye exclaims.

At that exact moment, the ropes straightened to such an extent that solidify, to the exception of one, pulling the Insatiable Princess with them, towards the disappeared Monkeys and shuttle.

Then, the loose rope slaps King U off balance, and he falls onto the platform below.

In no time, the Insatiable Princess and its remaining crew are out of sight.

“Synchronicity, again!” the King-of-all-Things says, pulling a fishing rod out of his cloud, throwing towards King U before hanging it in the air, pondering this fateful catch.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 455

“I shall lead you all and my Princess to the Syck Monkey, right here, right now.”

“Not so fast,” the King-of-All-Things says, “I extended my courtesy to having you parked here on this placid oceanic platform.  You have become aware of my existence and this will not do.”

“We must go,” the Captain reiterate, “I’ve no time for fools.”

“Give me your fool and you will be free to go.”

“He is free and isn’t for sale.”

“You’ll be allowed to negotiate with the Syck Monkey if you leave him here.”

“Negotiate what?”

“One of the Three Monkeys in exchange for your King.”

“You’re friend with the Syck Monkey.  There’s no need for negotiations.  What’s your agenda?”

“He stole something from me some time ago.  I need to retrieve it.”

“What did he steal?”

“A truth.”

“What truth?”

“A flag.”

“Yes?”

“It warns anyone, any traveller passing by caught catching an over-extended glimpse of this platform’s horizon that they may be caught in a permanent and infinity time loop.”

“And that you won’t help them?”

“And that all that belongs to them will be extracted from them and retained here for accountancy and accounting purposes, including their lives.”

“Really?”

“This is the end of all things and beyond.  All that is lost here and beyond becomes lost forever, irretrievable, unfathomable, elusive, real and unreal all at the same time.  I help all those who seek the lost forever & beyond when they do, at any cost, even their lives, if they can and if they insist.  I hold a list of all that belonged to them and that could not transgress the laws of this last frontier.  It’s in your interest: I can stop all you from leaving.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 454

“—What the heckety-fuck?” the Captain wonders as the approaching shuttle hovers a few meters above the Insatiable Princes with three white, large elastic ropes tightly wrapped around it and a large white Monkey with gold speckled fur standing on the tip of it.  This Monkey’s stature is impressive and if he weren’t so calm, you could swear you could hear him talk and give orders.  And on one such mute signal, three smaller monkeys with golden antennae swing about and settle on his shoulders before being launched into the skies, helped by the elasticity of the ropes, pulling the shuttle with them at high speed, the four of them disappearing into the darkness and beyond, as if propelled by a giant slingshot.

“The shuttle wasn’t falling!” the Captain affirms, “unless the legend has it wrong.”

“Legends can never be altered,” the King-of-all-Things remarks, “there’s catching and catching: if you’re not catching it falling, you retrieve it before falls.”

“We must follow them,” the Captain says, “all aboard, to your posts!”

“They’re gone,” King U. remarks, “there’s no trace of them.  We can’t—”

As he speaks, the insides of the Insatiable Princess reveal themselves slowly by lurking out of the deck’s exits, white, luminescent ropes smelling, sensing and assessing the air and their circumstances.

“—The ropes will follow their makers and masters,” Birdseye says, his dark goggles looking darker than usual.

Captain Traumatic descends on the deck, firmly tied to his ship before catching one of the white, Monkey made ropes and securing himself with it.

“Why?” Labaguette asks.

“For security, safety and speed.”

“Speed?”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 452

“It’s approaching,” the Captain says, “clear the deck!  Give it some space!”

“Space for what?” King U asks.

“To land.”

“I see no land, only a—”

“—a ship must ship on another ship, this ship.  We must welcome it.  It brings good news.  I know.”

“There’s no room on the Insatiable Princess,” King U say as Labaguette nods. “How—”

“—What’s this behind it, hopping from star to star, infinitely small?”

“Their father.”

“Birdseye!”

“You might try and float,” the Captain suggests.

“The Syck Monkey?” King U asks.

All turn towards the bright spot moving fast behind the rocket.

“The rocket isn’t falling, it is coming towards us,” the Captain says, “it cannot be The Syck Monkey.

Three Monkeys climb atop a mast as if drawn to a magnet.

“Their father,” Birdseye repeats, standing up.

“He only catches the falling,” the Captain says.

“The fallen is included,” The King-of-All-Things adds.

“This may be the bottommost dump there is,” Labaguette remarks, perching on his saviour’s shoulder, “but we’re only here temporarily, we’ve nothing to do with the fallen.”

“Consider this,” the King-of-All-Things says, “this universe is that of nowhere and everywhere all contained within.  You are at the top and at the bottom of everything and your right stretches until it reaches the far left.”

“Were we to fall a little further, we would find ourselves at the top of everything,” King U says, “I understand.”

“When one reaches this Kingdom,” the King-of-all-Things maintains, “one cannot fall beyond it and legitimately acquires its status: the fallen.”

“Recovery Space Shuttle is getting near, clear the deck!” the Captain orders.

“It’ll never make it,” Birdseye states.

To be continued…