“There’s a reason he talks too much,” Captain Traumatic tries, “Why is there a Law of Time?” caressing Labaguette’s plumage, soothing the parrot.  “Who decreed there should be one?”

“Enough talk.  Time to travel.”

Labaguette frees himself from Captain Traumatic’s loose grip, and before anyone realises it, has retrieved a capsule from Captain Clusterflame’s hands and is flying heavily and dangerously over the ship’s deck.

“Damn bird!  Come back here, now or I’ll shoot!” Captain Clusterflame orders before a flask of rum strikes him in the face and the Captain threatens the cosmonaut’s suit and its contents with his sword

“—Why is there a Law of Time?” the Captain insists as the three cosmonauts, appearing to give in to an unspoken code of conduct, sit on the Insatiable Princess’ deck, calm as sheep.

“Time particles were stumbled upon in Geneva, by the side of a mountain by a gardener.” Captain Clusterflame explains.  “They were growing unnoticed outside of an experimental tunnel which is no more, swallowed, it is understood, by a gap in time or time warp as these are also known.”

“A gardener?”

“A gardener specialising in unknown species of plants, a gardener-scientist known for its experimentation with all living things containing chlorophyll.”

“He found them or planted them?”

“Found them.  He wasn’t that smart.”

“Where is he now?”

“He disappeared.”

“Let me guess, in a time loop?”

“You’ve got the jest.”

“What did he look like?”

“Insignificant, common.  Such a chameleon it is hard to remember anything physical particular about him.  His real name he never disclosed but for a while, he enjoyed fame and called himself ‘ChloRo-the-Great’.

“CHLOROPH!” Captain Traumatic, Labaguette, the King-Fool and Birdseye exclaim simultaneously.

To be continued…



But as the universe has it – and all universes by the same token, as is well known but worth repeating – some rule is broken and what is expected becomes unexpected, all of a sudden and very… unexpectedly.

So it goes that Captain Traumatic finds solace for his boredom in his beloved Rum, waiting for the ultimate goal of their trip to appear on the horizon line, should the universe become flat for a little while.  What a waste he muses, all those worlds going by remaining unexplored and unconquered.  Wouldn’t it be nice to own a couple of them at the very least?  So many with such potential, so many needing a leader.  He recalls the Planet of Books which he was unable to save.  If he had a planet of his own, he would—

“—Captain!” Labaguette yells, “we can’t possibly be heading back home without something to show for.”

“We’ll conquer some more ships when we’re back.”

“There’s an interesting cluster a few degrees North,” Birdseye adds, tentatively.

Then the King-Fool begins to sing, dance and gesticulate in excitement.  “One must never give up, give up, give up.”  And again: “One must never give up, give up, give up,” he chants.

“Give up what?” Labaguette asks, perching on his wand, entertained, wanting some more.

“Exploring.  Home is death, desolation, an end to your purpose.”

“I will be a hero, tell me more.”

“You’ll be hero especially if you bring something back which gives you power.  Else, you’ll be a hero for one day and then sink into oblivion the very next day.”


“He’s drunk.  We must act now.”

To be continued…


“The Insatiable Mermaid is no more.  She earned her title of Princess through hard work and enduring loyalty.”

“She’s a ship.”

“Note that the Captain forgot his name eons ago,” the Fool remarks, beaming, “he forgot it but he is now forgetting it on purpose.  As to the Insatiable Princes we—”

“—Suppose I did.  Suppose I forgot my name.  What do you want from me?” Captain Traumatic asks.

“We’ve orders to bring you back to Earth.”

“I’m a pirate.  I am the proud owner of the most indomitable, rebellious and nomadic soul there is.”

“Is it Moi?” Labaguette asks.

“Shut up fuckwit!” the Captain says.”

“Captain, we must be getting back on the road.  Time is precious when you travel afar.  Time storms abound and these can distract our compasses.  We need to get back to the year we left, give or take a few seconds or a few weeks.”

“And what year was that?” the Fool asks.


“We were there before you,” the Captain remarks, “your time doesn’t suit us.  If you want to take us back to Earth, you take us back to 1602.”

“It could be done but only once we’ve gotten back to our year first.”


“We must take you there with a more appropriate shuttle, one which travels unambiguously backwards in time and one which could contain your ship.”

“Prove you are from Earth,” the Captain says.

“Make me your Knight and let us guide you back to Earth.”

“Well then, first, take your armour or this ludicrous hat off.”

“We wouldn’t be able to survive without this attire, Sir Anectodick.”

“I’ve no such attire and I live.”

“Couldn’t breathe without it.”

“You poor sod, must be a terrible disease.”

To be continued…



Labaguette perches on Captain Sunblast’s shoulder and examines the printed note.

“This bird sitting on my Captain’s hat looks like me, a very close resemblance but….  You painted that?”

“It is you Labaguette.”

In the air around them, an invisible, powerful gasp of surprise is expressed and felt.  Captain Traumatic and Labaguette look at each other, confused for the first second, knowingly for the last two.

“What do you want from us?  Why are we your prisoners?” the Captain asks.

“We’ve come in peace.  We’ve been searching for you for many centuries.  We come from planet Earth, your planet, our planet, to save you.  You hold a key, that of timelessness.  You’ve achieved the impossible.  I repeat, we come in peace.  We will show you the way back to Earth and to where you came from exactly.”

“I am not who you say I am.  Release us and pass your way.”

“You are who you are whom you say you are not.  You’re the one, the one who fell from Earth, the only one.  You created flexibility out of a fixed and rigid mathematical rule.”

“I fell…” the Captain says, frowning, “Indeed I fell.  I fell with Labaguette and the Insatiable Princess but you are mistaken.  How could you possibly know about it?  You come disguised.  In truth, you’re pirates after my rum.”

“We travel through time.  We can look into past and in future by calculating the exact parallel upon which one was or will be travelling and find every information to retrace one such road or pathway or parallel.  What is more, the Insatiable Princess’ real name is the Insatiable Mermaid, why—”

To be continued…



The Insatiable Princess’s wood screeches once more under the speed’s immense and close to unsustainable pressure it must bear along with the spin it has to extricate itself from.  Behind them, a small black hole forms, so black one would get sucked in just looking at it.  In a split second of eternity, the Insatiable Princess transports Captain Traumatic, Labaguette, Birdseye and a Fool out of the danger zone.

Exhausted by her heroic effort, the Insatiable’s Princess slows down as her sails unravel, fall flat against the masts and she comes to a stop.

“We must keep going!” Captain Traumatic urges.

“I need a rest,” Labaguette insists.

“Now is not the time,” the Captain says.

“Where to?” Birdseye asks.

“Even he who must know doesn’t know, doesn’t know, doesn’t know,” the Fool’s empty sneering words echo in the dark, in the empty space surrounding them.

“There are no stars,” Labaguette remarks, “nothing.  Any maps Captain?”

“Never mind where,” the Captains answers, “anywhere better than here.  The Insatiable Princess never does loops.”

“She has stalled, Captain,” Birdseye insists.

“This is entrapment.”

“Entrapment of a third kind,” the Fool suggests.

“Get back into King’s form, Fool,” the Captain commands, “you’re of no use.”

“This is the cloud, the veil that clouded all that I could not see before,” Birdseye remarks, “our path has been interfered with.  We are in a bubble.”


“The particles—”

And just like that, a thump is heard and felt by the side of the ship.  Soon, three cosmonauts, climb aboard, each presenting a ‘V’ sign with their index and middle fingers.

“What are they?” the Fool asks.

“They come in peace,” Birdseye confirms.

To be continued…



“You believe in your ‘impossible’ now?” Labaguette asks.

“I adapt.  I learn from my mistakes,” Birdseye says, “even if extremely rare.”

“Say you’re sorry,” Labaguette urges.

“Not a real mistake.  Vision was clouded by—”

“—There’s no time,” the Captain insists, “the platform is going into a spin.  We must leave.”

This is exactly when a zooming giant Monkey with a flag and an egg in one arm and a King in the other, bursts past their eyes, all lit up and ululating, a bunch of smaller monkeys attached to his legs.  They merely pass by them and lift up fast before disappearing beyond the rolling universe.

“By Jove!” the Captain exclaims, “the Syck Monckey!”

“Clouded by what?” Labaguette asks Birdseye.


“—there is no time, did you hear me?  BACK TO YOUR POSTS NOW!” Captain Traumatic thunders.

As the Insatiable Princess gains in distance and speed, an entire universe begins to topple onto itself with the platform starting a slow, relentless spin that attracts everything into its path.

“The egg’s weight disturbed the gravity of this universe,” Birdseye explains with Labaguette perched on his shoulder, “it wasn’t meant to be here.  It belongs to the Syck Monckey.”

“We’ll never know its secrets.”

“It is the original Egg Labaguette,” Birdseye affirms, “the One.  The Egg of creation.  Nothing would exist as we know it if this Egg didn’t exist.”

“Get to business!” King Krackskull yells, looking more like the Fool he has become, than a King, “get to business,” he says, his crown now a mere copper circle surrounding his head, one perennial, sagging flower sprouting from it, in need of care.

To be continued…



This is when the King-of-All-Things disappears, his neck tucked inside his now prominent and protruding shoulders, as if steam was going to puff out of the hole between them, were his head to vanish with the neck.  There he goes needing to get to the bottom of this affair and find the truth about his One Egg while the Monkeys follow him, waiting for deactivation of the destructive, demonised death beams.  Here now, they knock this King off balance and the Egg is lost.  Falling off the edge of the platform.  Falling, falling.  And falling some more.


“You do have some powers don’t you?” Captain Traumatic yells, knowing, sensing some fortunate turn of events, his tongue resisting more cynicism, uncertain what this mad King might do next because sometimes, you can never, never really know.

“Here!” he continues, “catch the flag!”

Now Birdseye, on the Captain’s command, throws the Flag onto the platform as the platform appears to slant a little while the flag floats fast towards the side of the platform from which the Egg fell.

With what may have been an attempt at majestic magic, the King-of-all-Things raises arms and hands above his head, trying to magnetically attract the flag with the power contained within his hands but the platform slants some more and away, away floats the flag.

The King-of-all-Things dives into the platform and propels himself forward fast, swimming frantically towards the flag, as if fuelled by an unseen engine.

“Mermaid abilities?” Labaguette muses aloud but the platform’s angle is now tipping at a 40 degree angle.

“Gravity… this cannot be,” the Captain remarks.

“Impossible,” Birdseye confirms.

To be continued…