THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 509

“Where are you taking us?” Captain Traumatic asks.

“Prison,” T3 says.

“Travelling in the future, unless you are coming back to your present from the past which doesn’t count as future time, is forbidden.  Talking about it can land you in jail,” the Mud creature says.

“Tell me more,” Labaguette insists.

“We’ve got rights,” Captain Sunblast insists.

“Your very ignorance of the rules is a tell-tale sign of guilt.  No one can afford to ignore the rules nor pretend to being ignorant,” T3 continues, “judges may only deliberate about a case when reasonable doubt is present.”

“What proof do you need?”

“You’ve nothing to do with warped time travelling and besides, you came from Earth when it no longer exists.  You travelled to the future and right now, you are sealing your coffin even harder.”

“We might want to fix the past,” Labaguette says, a spark of intelligence zooming in and out of his eyes fast, perching on his new found mud friend’s shoulder.

“No one can predict the future.  Nothing is set in stone, nor should it be.”

“We did not predict how this place would be when we came here,” Captain Traumatic says.

“The news has it that coming in this very year 4,398, was an act that was intended: it is unforgivable by law.”

“What else?”

“We’re all electronically wired to the news: our brains register it without needing to spend time learning about it, we just know.  If you’re not wired to the news, you’re automatically dubbed an outcast, an ignorant, a transient and therefore an outlaw.

To be continued…

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THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 508

“Welcome to iEarth, transients.  C’mon, shove off to the back!”

“We’re from Earth too,” Captain Sunblasts insists.  We’re human, not transients.  Loosen that rope!”

“You’re transients.  You’re criminals.  This is iEarth.  Earth is no longer.”

“Earth or iEarth what’s the difference?”

“Ignorance adds to your criminality: no one, you hear me?  No one can ignore the law.”

“But if we don’t know the rules, how can we know about the law?”

“Precisely, HA! HA! HA!… HAAAHAHAHAHA…  I am the law and time is the only commodity here.  It’s your gold, your cash, your life.  It’s everything.  If you haven’t got no time, then you’re wasting mine.”

“We don’t have your type of change.  If that makes us criminals, then we’ve rights for a lawyer I—”

“—See the Ute you’re sitting in?  It’s the ancient remnant left of Earth before the ‘i’ because it’s still road worthy and it ain’t wasting government resources, nor its time, like you are.  Besides, there are no lawyers no more.”

“Suppose we’re transients and we don’t go about cash in time value.”

“Suppose you’re just that.  You’re still criminals.”

Then, a stranger emerges from the back of the Ute, a creature, part human, part mud.  It says:

“Man.  You’ve got some way to go.  Over here, and this needs crammed into your pea size brains, time is cash, a commodity, your life, like T3 said.  It’s contained in the electronic hour glass that everyone wears around their neck: the finer the time particle contained within it, the better the quality of time travel and the more expensive, because time travel can span from a few seconds, minutes, hours in the past, to days, weeks, years, centuries or even millions of years if you chose to and can afford it.  Are you really from Earth?”

“You don’t travel in the future?”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 503

“It’s in the science lab!” Captain Clusterflame yells, his face crimson.

When Captain Starcrusher reappears, he carries the capsule in a small, transparent, indestructible box.

“You could have told me where it was instead of letting me look for it.  Why—”

“—That’s where it was supposed to be.  You forgot.”

“I never forget.”

“All too convenient.  I never forget.” Captain Sunblast adds.

“Why did you put it there?” Captain Starcrusher insists, “you know the least about the capsules.”

“I thought it safer.”

“He lies!” Labaguette yells, grinning.

“He’s lying,” Captain Traumatic acknowledges.

“That’s a lie,” the King-Fool emphasises.

“Lies and more lies,” Birdseye continues.

“In space, there is no such thing as biased democratic consultations or witch-hunts!” Captain Sunblast blasts.

“No rules,” Captain Traumatic reiterates, “Gimme that damned bloody future capsule and I’ll show you how we can still have choices.”

“Stay out of this!” Captain Sunblast orders, “we’ve seen what you and your parrot are capable of.”

“The capsule is useless.  It’s been tampered with.”

“He tampered with it,” Labaguette says, pointing his wing at Captain Sunblast.

“He did!” The King-Fool says.

“The future belongs to me,” Birdseye says, looking intently below him, his goggles lighting up, their beams focussing on the capsule.

“You can’t possibly…” Captain Traumatic says, “you can’t fly!”

“Only I can fly,” Labaguette remarks.  “STOOOOOOP!” he yells at his comrade about to take a potentially deadly leap of faith.

“I can do what I want.  I can create my own future,” Birdseye insists.  Then, he raises his neck to the starless sky, deploys his wings and plunges towards the capsule, his future and Captain Starcrusher, mesmerised at the sight of this man-creature’s majestic and reckless, kamikaze style approach.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 502

“Enough!” Captain Starcrusher thunders, “I’ll get the original and we will get out of this impermanent state of being.  No one else can touch it.  We will be out of here in no time.”

“Remain seated!” Captain Sunblast orders.  No one moves!”

“A lost future…” The King-Fool muses, considering his options, “what if—”

“—Non-sense, there’s always a way.”

“Yeah,” Labaguette adds, a mischievous bird, a princely parrot of darkness and thief of a kind all contained within one feather weight body, “with no future, there’d be no consequences.  I wouldn’t need a conscience.”

“What do you know about conscience?” Captain Clusterflame asks, “You’re all feather and no substance.”

“Eternity won’t be enough,” Birdseye remarks as Labaguette’s eyes look deep into the bird-man’s goggles and at once understands the more profound and abysmal implications of his words.

“What’s that you’re saying bird?” Captain Clusterflame asks while Labaguette whispers in his master’s ear.

“We live in times of paradoxes,” Captain Traumatic adds, “where time particles can interact with each other across several time dimensions, at different speeds and often, they meet in unexpected ways to create fated instants.”

“Shall I remind you you’re a Rum trader, a pirate, a man of the sea, not a—”

“—My travels have taken my knowledge to high spheres, unimaginable by you.”

“Explain fated instants in view of paradoxes.”

“A concert of dinosaurs playing violin for Beethoven; Jeff Goldblum crowned first King of Spain; planet Earth’s ability to clone itself—”

“—S’ppose you made this up.”

“S’ppose t’was hypothetical.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT!” they all hear coming from the shuttle, with Captain Starcrusher’s voice amplifying out of a perceptible fear, the fear of an unfathomable, uncertain future, one where future dissolves into nothing as you step into it.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 501

“Chloroph is a gardener we met travelling through the big out there.  He plants seeds, a wide range of seeds.  Wild seeds, mad seeds, dangerous seeds, seeds he collected, others that he engineered.”

“The seeds of time were discovered growing by the side of a well-known scientific establishment that disappeared in what is believed to be a time-warp.” Captain Clusterflame continues, “It also happened in the land where clocks where invented.  This is no coincidence.”

“We’re scientists, not historians,” Captain Sunblast adds.  Who knows?  We do not make the law, we follow the rules.”

“There are no rules.” Labaguette says.

“No rules,” Captain Traumatic says, throwing the capsule to Labaguette, an unusual and sudden spark in his eye, one that reminds Labaguette of his own youth, and how crumpling time up was fun because then tomorrow was just that: tomorrow.  And so, with that instant engraved into his needle size brain and that twinkle in the eye fully understood, Labaguette throws the future capsule into the air to better catch it and kick it with his foot, well away from the shuttle and the Insatiable Princess’ deck.  Down, down, down, all the way into oblivion.

“What have you done, you doom-shitting bird?” Captain Clusterflame bellows.  “What have you done?”

“You have the original,” Labaguette says.

“It doesn’t work that way.  If the copy exists, it must be used first.”

“I see a path forward,” Birdseye says.

“See?” Labaguette adds.

“No rules,” Captain Traumatic insists.

“Not using the copy first will alter the original’s future.”

“Not unless you tampered with the copy.”

“It’s impossible.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 500

“An acquaintance?” Captain Clusterflame asks.

Now Labaguette is sitting on the Captain’s shoulder with the future’s capsule held in his claws.  He carelessly drops it onto the Captain’s lap.

“Fancy a game?” the Captain asks before throwing it back high into the air for Labaguette to fetch.

“Careful!! Captain, careful.  You can never anticipate what may come of the future if you play with it in this way.  Have you lost your mind?”

“We’re in suspended time mode.  What could become of the future if nothing changes?”

“It is said that suspended time is intense and acute, like alphabet letters forming this sentence compressed into one letter.  The air in our lungs could be used and re-used without us noticing, without danger, but damaging a time capsule in this mode breaks all the rules.”

“Why is there a Law of Time?” the Captain insists, as his game of catch intensifies.

“All right, all right, all right.  The Law of Time was built on the premise that Time is needed everywhere to extend life and evade Death and Decay.  Since the universe is extending, time is extending.  But when the universe stops growing and starts to shrink, so will time.  In manipulating time and saving it, we can reversed this process and maintain the universe’s expansion.  By revisiting the past, we can re-create a state of expansion to infinity and bring all future progress to the past to improve it in the present, a time loop of sorts.  This requires strong rules, regulations and laws all devised and engineered by specialists in their field: time lawyers and time engineers.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Who is Chloroph?”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 499

“There’s a reason he talks too much,” Captain Traumatic tries, “Why is there a Law of Time?” caressing Labaguette’s plumage, soothing the parrot.  “Who decreed there should be one?”

“Enough talk.  Time to travel.”

Labaguette frees himself from Captain Traumatic’s loose grip, and before anyone realises it, has retrieved a capsule from Captain Clusterflame’s hands and is flying heavily and dangerously over the ship’s deck.

“Damn bird!  Come back here, now or I’ll shoot!” Captain Clusterflame orders before a flask of rum strikes him in the face and the Captain threatens the cosmonaut’s suit and its contents with his sword

“—Why is there a Law of Time?” the Captain insists as the three cosmonauts, appearing to give in to an unspoken code of conduct, sit on the Insatiable Princess’ deck, calm as sheep.

“Time particles were stumbled upon in Geneva, by the side of a mountain by a gardener.” Captain Clusterflame explains.  “They were growing unnoticed outside of an experimental tunnel which is no more, swallowed, it is understood, by a gap in time or time warp as these are also known.”

“A gardener?”

“A gardener specialising in unknown species of plants, a gardener-scientist known for its experimentation with all living things containing chlorophyll.”

“He found them or planted them?”

“Found them.  He wasn’t that smart.”

“Where is he now?”

“He disappeared.”

“Let me guess, in a time loop?”

“You’ve got the jest.”

“What did he look like?”

“Insignificant, common.  Such a chameleon it is hard to remember anything physical particular about him.  His real name he never disclosed but for a while, he enjoyed fame and called himself ‘ChloRo-the-Great’.

“CHLOROPH!” Captain Traumatic, Labaguette, the King-Fool and Birdseye exclaim simultaneously.

To be continued…