THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 500

“An acquaintance?” Captain Clusterflame asks.

Now Labaguette is sitting on the Captain’s shoulder with the future’s capsule held in his claws.  He carelessly drops it onto the Captain’s lap.

“Fancy a game?” the Captain asks before throwing it back high into the air for Labaguette to fetch.

“Careful!! Captain, careful.  You can never anticipate what may come of the future if you play with it in this way.  Have you lost your mind?”

“We’re in suspended time mode.  What could become of the future if nothing changes?”

“It is said that suspended time is intense and acute, like alphabet letters forming this sentence compressed into one letter.  The air in our lungs could be used and re-used without us noticing, without danger, but damaging a time capsule in this mode breaks all the rules.”

“Why is there a Law of Time?” the Captain insists, as his game of catch intensifies.

“All right, all right, all right.  The Law of Time was built on the premise that Time is needed everywhere to extend life and evade Death and Decay.  Since the universe is extending, time is extending.  But when the universe stops growing and starts to shrink, so will time.  In manipulating time and saving it, we can reversed this process and maintain the universe’s expansion.  By revisiting the past, we can re-create a state of expansion to infinity and bring all future progress to the past to improve it in the present, a time loop of sorts.  This requires strong rules, regulations and laws all devised and engineered by specialists in their field: time lawyers and time engineers.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Who is Chloroph?”

To be continued…

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THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 499

“There’s a reason he talks too much,” Captain Traumatic tries, “Why is there a Law of Time?” caressing Labaguette’s plumage, soothing the parrot.  “Who decreed there should be one?”

“Enough talk.  Time to travel.”

Labaguette frees himself from Captain Traumatic’s loose grip, and before anyone realises it, has retrieved a capsule from Captain Clusterflame’s hands and is flying heavily and dangerously over the ship’s deck.

“Damn bird!  Come back here, now or I’ll shoot!” Captain Clusterflame orders before a flask of rum strikes him in the face and the Captain threatens the cosmonaut’s suit and its contents with his sword

“—Why is there a Law of Time?” the Captain insists as the three cosmonauts, appearing to give in to an unspoken code of conduct, sit on the Insatiable Princess’ deck, calm as sheep.

“Time particles were stumbled upon in Geneva, by the side of a mountain by a gardener.” Captain Clusterflame explains.  “They were growing unnoticed outside of an experimental tunnel which is no more, swallowed, it is understood, by a gap in time or time warp as these are also known.”

“A gardener?”

“A gardener specialising in unknown species of plants, a gardener-scientist known for its experimentation with all living things containing chlorophyll.”

“He found them or planted them?”

“Found them.  He wasn’t that smart.”

“Where is he now?”

“He disappeared.”

“Let me guess, in a time loop?”

“You’ve got the jest.”

“What did he look like?”

“Insignificant, common.  Such a chameleon it is hard to remember anything physical particular about him.  His real name he never disclosed but for a while, he enjoyed fame and called himself ‘ChloRo-the-Great’.

“CHLOROPH!” Captain Traumatic, Labaguette, the King-Fool and Birdseye exclaim simultaneously.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 497

“Circular,” Captain Traumatic retorts, “we are the living proof of it: we are from the past meeting you from the future, in the present: we are now aware of the future law and you are now aware of its non-existence.  Therefore, that law is annihilated through a state of consciousness that alters through time.”

“Are you done?” Captain Sunblast asks.

“This is the new reality,” Captain Traumatic say, unstoppable, “where past overtakes future, until a new cycle comes.”

“Well then, if what goes around comes around, you should have come across the law before and you should have been aware of it, I—,”

“—Imagine a tornado with a life of its own, one that can see,” Captain Traumatic asserts, unaffected, “the junk it captures from the ground becomes alive as it is pushed higher and higher towards the sky, to the front of the tornado, to the back, in a continuous spiral.  But, when that junk is caught in the tornado’s eye, the now, the present, the tornado becomes unaware of it and the junk ceases to exist, as it falls, all the while existing in a state of lifelessness as it lays onto the ground.”

“I’ve a headache,” Labaguette says, mimicking Captain Sunblast pinching his nose where it meets the eyes and tries to steady his step.

“I AM the sole inventor of the time Capsules,” Captain Starcrusher yells, “no one else can claim to understand the mechanism behind time travelling.”

“There are consequences for breaking the law when you should be aware of it,” Captain Clusterflame repeats, keen to become a respectful lawmaker in space, for where else should a failed law student sets its teeth into?

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 496

“The rules The Law of Time as you know them, huh?  There is a non-edited and a limited version?” Captain Traumatic insists.

“The time capsules could be used in a circular motion,” Captain Sunblast ventures, “it has been suggested before, but it is illegal because it breaks the Code of Convention on the ethics of time travelling established by the Geneva Roll-X Convention, Article XXVIIIIIIIII.1) e.o.n, era 55X, year 2020.  You are in possession of the copies of the original time capsules and, aside of the shuttle’s instruments now being disabled and generating undetectable time particles of unknown substances and magnitude, these copies’ imprint may be lacking.”

“Lacking in what?  And I told you: I don’t have them,” the Captain insists, looking at the King-Fool.

“I’ve nothing to do with breaking time,” the King-Fool admits, it fell at the wrong time.  It was purely coincidental, a lack of synchronicity, that’s all.  It was meant to be caught but fell of its own accord, out of my hands, out of reach, a fated mistiming instant in time.”

“You juggled time?” Captain Starcrusher asks, dismayed.

“You broke the law,” Captain Sunblast affirms.

“No one can ignore the law,” Captain Clusterflame continues, “not even I,” his eyes achieving a rounder shape, one close to allow popping out of their sockets as if to convince of his righteousness through a hypnosis technique only he knows of.

“Such law does not exist when one isn’t aware of it,” Captain Traumatic says.

“We came from the past,” the King-Fool says, “as you came from the future, looking for us.  How could we know of a law that hadn’t yet been invented?”

“Linear.  Time is linear.  Knock this into your head!” Captain Starcrusher says.

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 495

“Time isn’t linear,” the Captain remarks.

“Time is my specialty,” Captain Starcrusher insists, a rictus of “I know more” etched alongside the left of his lips.

“The current rule states that what is must be and all that could be is debatable.  As it stands and to be precise, we are located a nano-fraction of time before what must be, where what will be could be and remains debatable.  Do you want me to repeat it?”

“I understand that being wedged between time zones means we are in a timeless zone, where time is of no consequences and where, if the edges of yesterday, today and tomorrow were allowed to mingle, the edge of tomorrow could meet the edge of yesterday.”

“Wait a minute,” Labaguette interrupts, “if we stayed here I would never grow old?  My plumage would remain shiny and velvety for ever and ever?”

“And therefore we could get back to the beginning, to before we fell off the ocean’s precipice…” Captain Traumatic concludes.

“I could remain the lonesome, awesome King my planet until the end of time…” the King-Fool ponders aloud.

“I would be born in future,” Birdseye muses, “My eyes would see in broad daylight, through the heart of shadows and dark places and would take me places without the need for wings.”

“Don’t you dream of anything of the sort,” Captain Sunblast adds, a joy slayer in the making.

“Time is circular.  It’s blinding obvious.  You could be creative with that,” the Captain continues, “want some Rum?”

Captain Sunblast opens a drawer, takes out a tissue this time and sponges his sweating forehead, before discarding it and throwing it into the distilled air, watching as it disintegrates.

“You must realise that there are rules.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 494

“Come, come Captain, you did not expect the shuttle to stop,” Captain Traumatic remarks.

“I believed Plan A would work but instead, Plan B has been initiated.  There’s little room for error.”

“Really?  Don’t—”

“—The time capsules are ruled by the Law of Time and they can only be used if the shuttle’s time warping instruments are disabled.  Truth be told, should any capsule or copies of capsules be used when a shuttle’s time instruments are functioning, then such time instruments are overridden to a great extent as they become dysfunctional and transform into unintentional perpetrators of potential and distorted time loops, including curves and parabolic, problematic time generating particles that are totally uncontrollable.  Fortunately, the engines were able to recognise the error and diverted to the shuttle’s inbuilt safety mechanism contained therein and named ‘Plan B,’ generated by the Plan B generator, a marvel of engineering.”

“Oh what a marvel!” Labaguette snarls.

All catch their breath, some scratch their head.

“Captain Anectodick,” Captain Sunblast continues, “you must hand back the stolen copies of the time capsules for present and future.”

“I don’t have any capsules nor any copies of them… copies?”

“We’ve all the time in the universe.”

“Sure.  The cracks of time are going to re-appear any second, are they not?”

“We are now suspended in time and contained within the nano-second that constitutes the instant before anything happens, after everything else has happened, yet not quite here nor there, as indicated by Plan B instruments.  We are nowhere to be found, somewhere where one is not dead, nor alive, wedged between time zones, where the edge of yesterday does not quite meet the edge of today and where the edge of today does not quite meet the edge of tomorrow.”

To be continued…

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN TRAUMATIC – 493

“Wanna live?” Captain Sunblast asks.

But the shuttle vibrates and everything in the cabin begins to float.  Soon enough, Captain Traumatic demands they be let out again.

“Birds cannot be forced to sit when they can fly,” Labaguette states as the King-Fool is prey to a burst of hilarity.

“Almost as good as being drunk,” he says.

“You can’t fix time,” Birdseye adds ominously, “this shuttle is damaged.  It is dangerous,” while the Captain repeats:

“Let us out!  Damn you Knights!  Let us out!”

“We have lift off,” Captain Sunblast insists and almost as soon as he utters these last words, the engines stop and an uneasy silence, like a virus of unfathomable consequences, infiltrates the cabin.

It takes longer for Captain Sunblast to comprehend what has just happened because in his mind’s eye the shuttle is an all-powerful and invincible God.  It is only when Captain Traumatic yells:

“God-damned you!  Get us out of this God-damned con job of a rocket ship!”

that Captain Sunblast unfastens his seat belt and, sweating profusely, crosses his arms, standing with his legs apart like a cowboy in a spaghetti western.  Finally, he can no longer resist it, for there is beauty in the perfection of a perfect misdemeanour, and he wipes the sweat off his forehead with one hand before rubbing it over his cosmonaut suit.

“You don’t look so well,” the King-Fool ventures, “this trip was rather short, has the shuttle—”

“—We’ve escaped the cracks of time in the nick of it.  We’ve been able to rewind to time zone -2,417,498,557,393,619 which is precisely where we need to be now to enable us to press the restart button.”

“What?  We were to move forward in time space, in the future,” the King-Fool says.

To be continued…